Irrational Love (mxm)

XXVI

Faex = 'shit' in Latin

Raziel

"Talk?" I frowned. "About what?"

Lucifer's maniacal grin took up his face, his fangs gleaming proudly in the light.

"My sweet, sweet dove," He purred. "You're with child."

My vision was blurred by my tears, my teeth were willing to break themselves from the very anger pouring like water from me.

With a grit of my teeth, I backhanded him so hard it made my hand ache and his face snap to the side.

"How dare you?" I managed to get out between sobs. "You-you know that they took that from me when I admitted my love for you!" I sobbed.

"I sacrificed my ability to have children for you. Do you think you're funny? Do you think it's a joke?" I cried as my body shook.

"Where do you think you're going?" He growled as I donned my lovely alabaster robe with vegan fur on the edges.

"Away from you!" I growled back, slamming the door behind me.

I ran down the hallway, my hair and robe flowing behind me like a ghost.

"Judas!" I panted, busting into his room. He slammed his book closed with a bang, swiftly removing his hand from the front of his pants.

He blushed scarlet red, not even daring to look me in the eyes.

Not that he can see, or anything.
  I gave the cover a droll stare. A very typical looking romance book made for lonely women in their sixties, minus the fact that there was two men on the cover.

"Homoerotica? Really? I didn't even know they made that in braille." I teased him.

"Sire, with all due respect, please butt out of my sexual fantasies. What can I help you with?"

I sat down next to him, crossing my arms and ankles.

"That man isn't my fiancé "

  He scoffed. "Of course he is! Who else would be in there? Michaelangelo himself?"

"You don't understand!" I gritted out. "That thing is not Lucifer! He's--different. Mean. Violent. Short-tempered."

"Oh. Oh faex!" He cried. "Satan has taken over!" I quirked an eyebrow. "Are they not the same being?"

Judas shook his head no adamantly. "No. Satan isn't a being. He's a malevolent soul that feeds on dark energy. When Lucifer first fell, Satan fed abundantly on his feelings, so Satan's soul has buried itself deep inside of Lucifer, like a parasite."

I sat cross legged on his modest loveseat, entranced by the story.

"Every now and then, Satan accumulates enough emotions to take over Lucifer's body. He did it during the execution. He did it when he yanked you down by your hair."

I held a hand over my mouth like an overly surprised fifties housewife.

"How do we stop him? Permanently." Judas sat back and hummed, drumming his long fingers against his pale lips.

"An exorcism?" Judas offered.

"You, Judas Iscariot, betrayer of Jesus, know an exorcist?"

I suppose I took it too far. His fang slipped and cut his mouth from how hard he was clenching his teeth.

"Yes, Raziel, angel of Mystery, wife of Lucifer, I know a professional exorcist. I'll be back with him."

He jumped through a random, sparkly violet portal that appeared at his feet, leaving me on the couch.

I observed his room. Clean and spacious, darkly lit with thousands of braille books scattered around, an oriental rug and a glass coffee table, sprawling tapestries adorned the wall, and the room itself always seemed to have a certain hint of citrus and jasmine.

I jumped in surprise as Judas reappeared.

I stared at him I  disbelief as he brought his mortal boyfriend, Emery, with him, the young Hispanic man with his curly, dark brown hair and forest green eyes showed up with him, donning the clergy robes, a rosary on his left wrist, a purple scarf with two shiny, golden crosses adorning the bottom, and a gorgeous, circular glass bottle filled with liquid, dangling on a chain from another cross.

"Really? Your boyfriend is supposed to exorcise my husband?" I crossed my arms. "A mortal, no less." Emery pulled out a folded out piece of paper. "Certified."

Well, he did have a point. I skimmed the paper with my eyes. "Alright. What's the plan?"

I thought Judas was too transfixed with Emery's presence to hear me. "You're going to distract him, and coax him to lower his defenses, maybe even tie him down. When he's ready for the exorcism, scream 'coconut', and we'll start the exorcism, Satan is gone, Lucifer is back, the crowd goes wild, yadda yadda." He explained, stroking a strand of Emery's hair.

"Are you ready, Raziel?" Emery murmured as we walked down the hall.

"As ready as I'll ever be."