Mess with me, Mess with you (boyxboy)

A little brave

"If, one day, for real
Love does come to me, I might just cry" - twice "What is love?"
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It's currently 5am.

Yeah I haven't been able to get any sleep.

Yeah... it's because of what Allan said.

"You don't have to play their game Jake"

I groan at Allan's voice inside my head, that won't stop nagging at me!

I just don't know.

Am I ready to risk loosing everything... no not really.

Do I want to stop acting like a coward and grow up? Yes, yes I think so.

You see? The yes's and the no's cancel each other out.

All I'm left with, is a simple, I don't know.

Allan's face appears in my head again.

How can someone be so brave like him?

He is perfect enough, handsome enough, to have been popular at his old school.
How did he dare risk loose it all? How did he have the strength to loose it?

No matter what or when, I will never compare to a guy like him.

I close my eyes for the 16187382th time, and try to coax myself to sleep again.

It doesn't work.

All I can hear, repeating over and over in my head, is Allan's voice.

"Why do you let them?"

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It's 8 am when I have to drag myself to the school bus.

I did not sleep at all.

Or maybe I did, and I'm asleep right now. I don't know.

The point is, I'm dead tired. So tired, that I'm not properly functioning At all.
I mean it. My body is begging me to lay down and have a rest.

Okay so if I was awake and properly functioning, things would be a little different.

My tired self is kinda aware of Devon waving at me from the back.

Then my tired self is very aware of Samantha sitting with them.

What the hell?

If I was awake and properly functioning, I would cuss her out properly, and forcefully push her away from my friends.
That bitch can surely be something. Something evil.

It so happens that I'm not awake and properly functioning.
So my mind tries to come up with other places to rest at.

I end up doing something I would never actually do.

I look to my right, and see Allan.

Maybe it's his smile.
Maybe it's the talk we had yesterday.
Maybe it's everything he has done and said so far.
Something nobody has done for me before.

Whatever the reason, it clearly did not matter to sleepy me.

I sat down next to Allan.

The gasps of the other students woke me up a little.
I made a weak move to stand up, realizing where I had sat down.

But then Allan's hand pushes me to lay my head on his shoulder, and who am I to deny him?