Will You Be My Daddy? ~Joker Fanfiction~

Eleven

"Shit! Why can't I think of anything?" Joker snarled at his desk, slamming his fists down onto the solid wood. He found himself still at a loss as to how he was going to go about sending Madeline out for the first time.

How was he supposed to exhibit his pet project if there was no occasion worthy enough to be her first attack? After spending so much time on her development, it would be a waste if her debut wasn't magnificent (ly disastrous, that is).

Green hairs were strewn across the desk top from where he'd yanked his hair out in frustration. Joker picked a strand up and examined it closely, perhaps hoping for inspiration where he had none. All he could note was that the root of the strand was brown. He'd need to re-dye his hair soon or it would be as ridiculously mundane as his current set of ideas.

He heard a sudden outburst of shouts and giggles from the rest of the mansion, followed by a loud thud. J sighed in exasperation.

"I live with idiots," he muttered.

Hey! I take offense to that!

You shouldn't.

That's a relief.

Because it's true.

Hey!

With that conversation finished, Joker rose from his desk like a regal lion would from its sunny rock, off to check on the rest of his pride, so to speak. Though in his case it would be more accurate to compare him and his mob to rabid hyenas rather than noble lions.

"Maddie, no! Stop! What are you doing? Get down!" Andy's frantic shouts reached J's ears just as he opened his office door.

All he could do was raise his invisible eyebrows at the scene before him. Madeline, in a sparkly pink dress, had climbed up on top of the massive couch and was running away from Andy back and forth and up and down and around it. Tommy was nowhere in sight.

"Maddie! Don't play these games with me! I said to stop and I meant it, missy! What the hell did he give you?" Andy shouted.

Who gave her what? It better not have been drugs. If someone gave my little girl drugs I would murder them so brutally that they'd forget what it feels like to not be in pain.

You do drugs.

I'm also a grown ass man that can do whatever the hell he damn well pleases. Do I really need to have the same conversation with you that I had with the four year old?

J cautiously approached the couch, wary of startling Maddie in the midst of her acrobatics. She was now flipping on and off the couch to further terrify her caregiver. However, she quickly noticed Joker and shrieked gleefully.

"Daddy!" She shouted, leaping off of the couch and towards him. Luckily J managed to catch her and stop her flight towards the floor.

"What is going on here? Where's Tom?" Joker asked immediately, still holding Maddie awkwardly.

"Tommy's sick in bed," Andy explained. "And one of the guys gave Madeline a bunch of candy in exchange for leaving you alone without my knowledge, so now she is literally bouncing off the walls."

Maddie kept wriggling around in J's arms, so he growled and flipped her over his shoulder, holding her to him by her lower back. This action did not deter the sugar-crazed munchkin, so she continued to squirm and try to escape Joker's grasp.

"Are you sure it was candy and not something else?" J asked.

"I saw the wrappers in the trash. Plus, is anyone really stupid enough to give a four year old drugs? Wait, don't answer that question. I want to be able to have at least a little faith in the human race," Andy replied.