No Strings Attached | MBJ BWBM

40.

Y/N

It was two weeks later as ever since my birthday I've distance myself some from Michael and it wasn't intentionally it was a lot and I think I felt a little overwhelmed. Besides he's been working and I don't want to bother him I know he's tired after filming also. Today my mother and I decided to have lunch just us and I wanted to explain to her how I've been feeling because maybe she could help me.

"Hey mommy" I said walking up to the table as she smiled at me and I hugged her before taking a seat infringe of her.
"Hey baby" She expressed. "A you been up too?" Sue asked. "Girl nothing" I said waving her off as she laughed. "I'm going to let that one slide" she said making me giggle. "I've been seeing the blogs and everything what's going on?" She asked as I shook my head. "When are you going to come out and say something?" She asked curiously.

"I'm trying to hold on as long as I can but it's like at this point why keep it a secret?" I simply explained shaking my head. "Don't let it stress you out just keep the main rule which is keeping you and his personal business offline." She started off "put what you two want to put but problems and all of that stays between you two" she said as I nodded.

"Besides that, I barely even hear from you" she said with a big smile causing me to smile. "That's not true" I said as she made a face. "Bull shit. Michael flew you out to Atlanta for your birthday, I haven't seen any pictures yet and it's been almost three weeks" she said as I giggled and handed her my phone as she started looking through the photos. "Wait are there any pictures in here that-" she started off as I laughed. "Ma no just look at the pictures" I assured as she went back to smiling at the pictures.

She soon gave me back my phone "send those to me" she stated as or waiter then came in and interrupted us asking what we wanted to eat. My mother and I told him what we wanted and he then disappeared going to a different table he was also serving.

"I see a glow and you just look so much happier" my mother expressed just smiling and admiring me making me faintly smiled. "I have a question" I started off. "What's wrong?" She asked, "when you first got with will was there a feeling of feeling like all of you wasn't in it?" I asked. " I was afraid because of what happened with your father but i didn't let it stop me" she started off. "Why?" She asked.

"Well Sometimes I have this feeling that I'm not good enough for him and I'm going to hurt him" I admitted. "Cheating wise?" She asked as I shook my head. "No like all the affection I get at times I just want to push him off and I know this is TMI but I cried when we last had sex" I informed. "Did it hurt or you didn't enjoy it what was wrong?" She asked. "I enjoyed it a lot it felt like it was so much and I just started to get emotional and I've never felt like that when anybody else" I admitted as she started to smile.

"What?" I asked as she let out a small laugh. "Baby girl that wasn't sex" she said as I looked at her funny "so what was it?!" I asked. "You two made love" she said then snickered. "That's the way it's supposed to feel when you love each other, it's supposed to be an experience for the both of you" she assured holding my hand. "You and Michael made love" she stated as I faintly smiled. "Yeah but after that I was overthinking and feeling like I'm all in besides one piece of me and I can't figure out why and I don't want him to feel as if I don't love him or I'm not all in" I explained.

"Do you think your dad plays apart in that?" She asked as I looked at her and I laughed. "I don't even really talk to him" I admitted. "Yeah but that doesn't mean it doesn't play a part in why you feel how you feel with Michael" she said as I started thinking about it. "Or maybe it's not your dad but recent relationships you've been in prior to being with Michael" she started off. "Just a thought" she said as I looked away.

"You didn't really tell me about any of your love life while in Atlanta and then with Keith it was like one minute I seen him and the next minute you two weren't together." My mother said looking at me concerned. "I don't know I didn't feel anything they told me they loved me and it's like it went in one and ear and out of the other" I admitted as she looked at me concerned. "Do you feel that way with you and I?" She asked as I shook my head. "No" I answered. "What about you and William?" She asked. "A little I'm coming around to it" I answered.

"What about you and Michael?" She asked "I know he does but it's apart of me that feels he doesn't" I admitted then shook my head "I feel like an ass" I said to myself. "You're not baby and I know you love him hell we all do you're the same woman who when nobody heard from him you literally broke down his front door and dragged him out the house so he can go see a therapist" she explained as I faintly smiled.

"Michael went and got therapy do you think maybe it's time you got some?" She asked as I looked at her. "I don't think it's that serious" I started off as she looked at me concerned. "Y/N Michael flew you out because yes it was your birthday but he knew you wouldn't allow him to fly back to LA just to take you out due to him working" she explained. "Well yeah he's working why would I have him spend all this money then leave work-" I started off as my mother just looked at me with a raised brow. "Oh" I simply said.

"Yeah but he's never had a problem" I started off "that doesn't mean it's not a problem yet. Being Overly independent is not a good thing especially with someone who loves you and WANTS to show you how much they appreciate and love you" she explained. "I think you should go see someone and talk to them" she admitted grabbing my hand as I just looked away from her. "Look at me" she simply said as I finally looked at her. "Go get some help it's okay" she assured as I faintly smiled.

"Besides that I heard your man might be getting an award at the MTV movie awards you going?" She asked as I laughed "yeah" I answered. "You need a dress?" She questioned with a smirk. "You know I do" I said as we shared a smile.

______

My mother and I was walking out of lunch together as I had on a pair of sunglasses and reporters was following us to the car asking mad questions and taking pictures. "Y/N are you and Michael seeing each other?!" One asked as he was all in my face. I just tilted my glasses down some and looked at him. "You all in my business, don't do that" I simply said pushing my glasses back up hearing my mother laugh along with them continuing to call my mother and I's name.

I got into my car and locked the doors watching my mother get in her car safely and pull out. I pulled out driving back home listening to "Beauty" by Dru Hill. My phone started ringing as I looked at the screen on my car seeing Michael trying to call me. I looked at it then pressed the "Answer Call" button.

"Hello?" I answered "hey, you straight?" I asked. "Yeah I've just been in my head lately" I admitted. "What's up? What's going on?" He asked as I faintly smiled. "Nothing I'm okay" I assured. "Who messing with you?" He asked as I laughed "nobody" I answered "oh aight because I was about to hop on the next flight" he said making me laugh even more. "And do what?" I asked. "Fuck them up" he said as I giggled. "Alright Adonis" I sarcastically said making him laugh. "But are you okay?" He asked. "Yeah I'm good, I just miss you" which was true I did miss him, I physically wanted him here next to me. "Well I'm almost done I just got 2 more weeks and I'm all yours" he said as I smiled.

We finished our conversation and it was just basically about what we been up to. Once I was off the phone with him I decided to finally call the therapist that I found when looking for a therapist for Michael. She was a black woman and a woman of God so I decided to set up an appointment with her and my first appointment was the morning when Michael was coming back from filming.

I decided to keep it that day instead of moving it back because although he's my man I got to go to therapy for me and do what I needed for myself.