ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕖𝕟. 😰

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He shoots up from his laying position, sweat dripping down his back. His hands shaking, breathing uneasy. He looks in front of him, a bad feeling in his stomach. A sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach, as something was wrong. No! Something was gonna go wrong. He was sure of it.

But what could go wrong, the race was, he looks at the alarm, yesterday. Maybe something was still gonna happen. What was his dream about? He can't remember. Shaking his head, he goes to the bathroom of his hotel room.

Splashing his face, he looks at himself. His face pale, his eyes a bit dull. His hands still shaking, a memory of his dream comes back. He gasps. No! The image of his crush laying dead in his race car. Shaking his head, it couldn't be true.

He can't get the image out of his mind, should he check? No. He shouldn't bother his crush. But he can't shake of the bad feeling. He can't remember if that crash had happened or not. He can't remember if his crush had died or not.

He debates, should he? No. What if his crush is okay and he is only annoying the other man. But the wretched feeling doesn't go. Maybe he should! Just to be able to go back to sleep. But he can't just go in the middle of the night to his crush. What would he think? It's stupid.

Pushing his hands through his short hair, he looks at the mirror again. A huge bruise on his shoulder, he can't remember how he got it. What if his dream is right? But if that was the truth, wouldn't he have remembered?

He knows that sometimes our brains make us forget stuff to prevent us from getting traumatised. But his dream, his crush had died. Wouldn't he have remembered that? No! It could have been that he didn't remember because it would traumatise him more.

A tear rolls down the cheek of the boy, maybe he should check! No! He can't! If his crush is alright he would only annoy him and be a bother to the older man. Shaking his head once again. He grips the counter, why was this dream happening! Why did he have a dream like that?

A sob leaves his lips, he's getting scared that the crash of his crush had been real! Maybe he tried to get to the man and bruised his shoulder. But if that was true...then why did he have a bruise at the elastic band of his boxer?

He can't remember, what if it had really happened? What if he's dead? He shakes his head again, slamming his fist on the counter. Pain shooting through his arm. This is not a dream. He thinks. Otherwise he wouldn't feel this pain. Why does his wrist hurt so much from this.

The realisation hits him like a truck. The man he loves so much has died in a racing crash. Shaking his head, he doesn't want to believe it. It can't be true and the only way to know for sure that it's not true is by going to his hotel room and when he doesn't open the door. He will have his answer.

With his mind set on going to the man, he's shaking. Biting his tongue not to wake up any of the other drivers who are sleeping. He just needs to know what is real and what is not. If the crash of his crush is real or just some kind of nightmare of his worst fear. He wants to know.

He can feel his hands shake, his knees want to give out from underneath him but he bites his tongue harder and just sucks it up. He can't fall, he would wake up the others. Not now! He need answers! He can't help but let the tears roll down his cheeks.

He looks at the door for a second, room 544. Shaking badly, it takes him a couple of seconds before knocks. Fuck!! He thinks. I shouldn't have done this! His mind is beating him up, he balls his hand in a fist, hitting himself on the head.

Shaking his head, he stands there. It can't be anything else than the crash being real. Tears roll like rivers down his cheeks before they gather at his chin. As they gather, it falls from his chin, onto the old grey carpet, the boy is standing on with his bare feet. Wiping desperately the tears from his eyes without success.

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