Please Love Me | JJK

Part 17

Junhgyun sends Jungkook home early that day. He had been so absent-minded that it was better that he stay home for the rest of the week. Jungkook's appreciative but he hates it at the same time.

He arrives at an empty home. There's no you coming up with a new recipe in the kitchen, no you watering the flowers and talking to them in their pretty vases, no you sprawled on the couch reading an art book or watching your reality TV shows. There's no you asking him how his day went or telling him about yours, no you lugging canvasses and showing him your pieces, no you and your adorable laugh while watching horror movies.

There's none of your pretty smiles, none of the nose crunches that match his; there's no hand to hold or shoulder to lean on. In all the years that he lived abroad on his own, he's never felt so lonely until now.

Jungkook spends the day at the gym, boxing his anger at himself away. He goes for a run to clear his mind. He eats McDonald's for dinner, his first full meal of the day. He takes a long hot bath and lights the rose and cedarwood scented candle you got him. He stares at your bedroom door, hoping for a miracle that when he opens it, you're there.

But you aren't.

Jungkook sleeps in your bed that night, curled up under your blanket, inhaling the scent that you left, the whale plush toy he'd given you mocking him.

He does pretty much the same things the next day and chooses to ignore the texts of his friends asking him how he is. He's not surprised if word got around in your little circle that you'd left; clearly Jimin would've hounded Nari about what's going on.

That Saturday, Jungkook forces himself out of your bed due to the incessant pounding on the door. He should've expected that Jimin and Taehyung would show up uninvited at your apartment.

They'd watched him go from girlfriend after girlfriend in the past but they'd never had to comfort him. Holding up booze, sweets, and fast food, they say, "we don't know how you deal with heartbreak so we just bought everything."

Jungkook consumes all of it. He falls asleep on the couch and wakes up in the wee hours of the morning, friends sprawled next to him, whiskey bottle empty on the table. He walks to your room and falls asleep on your bed again.

He spends most of his Sunday there, upset that your scent is slowly fading. He's desperate for you but he wills himself to be patient; his brother's updates on you are the only things he looks forward to.

He looks at his messages to you, which he's been sending since your first night away. It was 2 days later when you finally replied, nothing but an "I'll be home soon" in contrast to his "I'm sorry's" and "I hope you're safe and well" and "good mornings" and "good nights."

He gets himself together enough to go to work that Monday. In between meetings he forces himself to pay attention to and emails he impassively reads, he thinks of you. He hates himself for not even having a photo of you on his phone, a reminder that you two are indeed nothing more than individuals who agreed to marry each other. You're not a couple, just an engaged pair. And soon, a married pair, that is, if you still want to marry him.

The thought makes him panic. You've been away for days and he doesn't know what you're thinking. He wouldn't be surprised if your friends or siblings - or even his own brother - convince you to call the wedding off, seeing as how he treated you, how he hurt you.

They've been protective of you for good reason, not so much because of the sickness that befell you, but because your heart is so beautiful, so forgiving, so patient and kind; they probably think no one deserves your love. He definitely thinks he doesn't, but he'll try. He decides today that he'll try to be the kind of man who deserves all of you.