Please Love Me | JJK

Part 23 - FINAL

You didn't sleep well last night. Jungkook's words kept ringing in your head and you allowed yourself to peek through half-lidded eyes to see his sleeping form, so peaceful, so soft. Maybe hurt, too.

He said he loves you. You want that. For years you kept that special nook in your heart for him. You never nurtured it but you let it stay, until slowly it grew and consumed you. Now it's something he feels for you, too. But you're scared it's not what you imagined, you're scared it's out of pity, out of regret, and that's not how you want to be loved.

It's a Friday and Jungkook calls to say they have an affiliates' dinner and you know he'll be home late. "Don't wait up for me," he says, probably aware of your lack of sleep.

You take this time to enjoy your bath, the scent of vanilla calming you down.

"You have to learn to talk about things," Seokjin told you earlier that day when you accompanied him to buy items for the home office that he's surprising Mina with.

He noticed that your eyes didn't shine at the mention of your husband like they normally did. This prompted him to ask if everything was okay. You told him the truth, as you didn't want your brother to get the wrong idea and punch Jungkook this time around.

"Hey, I talk about things," you said defensively.

"Only when you're in control."

You kept silent.

"But you don't think you are and you're scared he doesn't mean what he said. So now you're gonna keep this to yourself and then you'll keep him at bay. And you know what you're gonna miss out on if you don't talk to him?"

"What?"

"Genuine happiness."

You sighed at this, knowing your brother's right.

"You know I would've chopped his head off at one point so I hope you believe me when I say that you have nothing to worry about," Seokjin continued. "He talks about you like you hold galaxies in your eyes, ___. I'd never seen him this happy."

You sigh to yourself. You're happy too, just not fully, completely, and it's because you're holding back. You want him to know how you feel but you're scared.

But even in the midst of your restlessness, you can't wait for him to come home and be with you again.

You're in the state of falling into deep sleep when you feel a dip on the bed, and your half conscious mind expects to feel your husband's heat radiate from his body next to you, but you don't. Instead, you hear footsteps trail down the stairs and the bed suddenly feels empty.

Does he not want to sleep next to you tonight?

You're suddenly wide awake and you lay there for a while. Your heart can't take the thought of Jungkook thinking that you don't love him back.

You make your way downstairs and see him lying on the couch drifting into sleep, his phone forgotten on his chest. You kneel next to his subconscious form and admire how beautiful he looks.

"Hey, Kook," you mumble, hand ghosting his taut arm, and you're tempted to trace the veins decorating it.

His eyes flutter open and his face softens at the sight of you. "Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were asleep," he says, slightly propping himself up with his elbows.

"Bed felt empty, suddenly felt cold," you pout. You don't want to think he didn't intend on sleeping next to you, probably upset at the words you didn't say last night.