Sometimes You Have To Be Independent (GirlxGirl) (TeacherxStudent)

Chapter Fifty

To Carter and her lover

We stood there frozen. Alex's breathing was shaky. Or was that mine? Definitely mine. Hers was normal and somehow not even broken. I think she just stiffened from shock.

She turned me around to make me look at her. "Hey, my love, it's okay. Maybe it's not what you think."

"No, it is. I know it's them." I dropped the envelope as my eyes started to sting.

"Breath, remember, follow my breathing." She started to do our breathing thing for when I have a panic attack or when one is coming.

Sometime between then and now she pulled me into a hug. I felt safe in her embrace so I didn't pull away. My breathing calmed down so we're standing her with our arms wrapped around each other.

I felt her kiss my head once again. "How about we take a nice shower, get all the pool water and stuff off us, then possibly read the letter and sleep?" She asked. The words came out so calm in soft.

"Mhm, okay." I mumbled, burying my head in her chest.

I don't want her to leave. Or us to break apart. I feel safe with her.

"That means we go to the bathroom and shower." She explained.

"I don't want to let go of you."

"You don't have to." I felt her head move away from mine. "You can hold my hand, have your arm around me, whatever. I wasn't planning on letting go of you."

"Fine." I pulled back and held her hand.

___

Currently Alex and I are sitting on the bed starring at the letter in my hand. My head is resting on her shoulder as her head is resting on mine. My free arm is wrapped around her and her arm is wrapped around me.

"What if it's from Stephanie, Ember or Daniella?" I put out there. I know we both don't think it's them though.

"The only option out of them would be Daniella. The other two would have given it to us earlier." That's about right.

I moved my head a little and kissed her shoulder. I can tell her she is a little on edge and nervous, even if she's not showing it. I can just feel it.

A shaky breath came from her mouth. "Do we need to do the breathing thing Alex?" I heard her laugh.

Maybe we both could benefit from it.

"I don't know." I sat up and looked at her. She playing with her hands, restraining herself from bitting her lip, and she has this look in her eyes.

"Okay, let's do something else then." I held out a hand for her to play with as I made her look at me. She smiled and looked in my eyes. "Five things you see."

This works for her, not so much me.

"You.." she looked around for a moment, "blankets, pillows, a wall, and my hand." She looked back at me, and continued to play with my hand.

"Four things you feel." I looked down at our hands, then back at her.

"You.. my clothes, the blanket, and this feeling in my chest only you can make me feel." I watched her smile, as I now forgot what to say.

"..three things..." Fuck! What are the five senses? "Three things you hear." Phew.

From the looks of it she got amused by my slip up. "Your voice. Now my voice. Lastly, the sheets when we move." So she couldn't think of a third thing, got it.

"Two things you smell."

"You and me." She said happily, which made me smile.

"One thing you taste." Did it, I remembered all five senses!