When I Met Him

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟎

I should be happy to go to college today since ashfaque is trying to take his steps towards me...towards our relationship. But it all feels a little different now, getting my heart broken by him every time I trust him, has destroyed the trusting part of me. I told Afrid about everything that happened and after that, he knows how much I try to save this relationship, he always makes me think positive but deep down he knows I am being damaged. Walking into the college campus I have a weird feeling in my gut, something is not right, but what? 

𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘰...
stop thinking about Shaad, Muskan he is a flirt, he himself told you what he does with girls around him. 

I go to class only to attend my first half lectures; the bell rings for lunch break. Ashfaque is calling me...he might be waiting for me in the canteen. I decline the call as I am almost there, he saw me and waves his hands. 
"Hey! I was waiting for you, you're looking beautiful" he says.
"Thanks" that came out cold. What does he mean by 'you are looking beautiful' is this the first time I am looking beautiful, actually no, this is the first time he saw me properly, I guess. 
"So, what do you want to eat?" he asks.
"Anything you want" I am trying to be nice okay it's not easy to forgive and forget everything in a single night. He brings dosa for both of us and all I can focus is to finish it and run back to home, I even informed Afrid that I'll be leaving early today.
"How is everything going on in your class, why am I asking, you've got Komal there with you, you guys sure will be having fun right?" I don't know if it's a question or assertion.
"Yes, everything is going great, I've made new friends as well, Shaad and Aftaab. And yes, thank you for asking about this after six months." I taunted.
"Shaad and Aftaab? they were with me in school as well, you know Shaad had a girlfriend and she--" "I know" I says not giving him chance to finish his sentence.
"Oh! you two had this conversation huh" he is looking at me strangely.
"That is what friends are supposed to be like at least I am not touching him inappropriately in the name of 'we are friends' shit drama." slow down Muskan take it easy.
"How many times I need to apologize, what do you want, do you want me to lick your feet and beg? I didn't do anything so wrong for that, did I? " that's it, just as he says this, I lose it all.
"This is the problem ashfaque, you are ready to apologize but you don't want to accept you did something wrong there, if you can't accept it then don't apologize, not admitting a mistake is the biggest mistake. You are not sorry ashfaque you just want me back!"
I am not waiting for him to answer me back or anything I just try to leave just as he holds my hands "Yes I want you back, because I love you & I don't want to lose you, this is why I apologized. I know I made a mistake, and I won't repeat it again trust me please don't leave me. I know I've said these things before too, but things are different now, I am different now. Please stay."

I stay with him till college hours but now I have to leave its time to go class.
"Okay I am leaving for class bye" I say giving him a hug.
"I'll come with you; I am going towards that way" he says.
I have pretty much of an idea why he said this, I mentioned Shaad and Aftaab and he want to make sure they know he have me, he is quite foxy. He walks me to the classes, and everyone saw me with him, everyone is staring at me for some reason I don't know meanwhile I am looking at Shaad who just looked up to me from top to bottom and simply walked inside the classroom. Ashfaque gives me a hug and left too. As I walk into the classroom, I knew something was wrong, but I didn't want to let it bother me as I feel like finally ashfaque is treating me well. As usual I sit in front of Shaad it's my fixed place. Komal comes in, just in time and settles herself by my side. It's been a while now I can sense that Komal knows somethings fishy here, me and Shaad are quiet, we have not said a single word to each other, even once, till now which is definitely weird as we always talk with each other from the moment class starts till it ends. "Am I missing something here" she asks me rolling her eyes between me and Shaad. I'll try my best to reply this one without replying, "Nothing, in fact everything is getting good, ashfaque came to see me off today for class and we were together for the whole day today, I think he is changing himself." I am saying this by giving her hints through my eyes for her to know why there is silence between me and Shaad today. Luckily, she understood. God helped me here! literally she is so dumb I thought she will ask Infront of Shaad why I am moving my eyes like that. 
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘨? 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦.

I am not ready to text him, but I don't want to lose someone like him, ever, so here I go.

ME: Hey....everything okay?

SHAAD: OfCourse why wouldn't it be?

Okay, now its confirmed everything is not okay.

ME: You know you can talk to me if something is wrong with you...or if something is bothering you...

SHAAD: Why do you think something is wrong with me?

ME: Just noticed. You didn't talk to me today and you didn't even said goodbye while leaving for home......isn't this enough to be suspicious?

SHAAD: I didn't talk to you because I didn't want to. Is it compulsory to talk to you every day or to say goodbye.

ME: Shaad.... alright I won't say anything further but please if something is bothering you, you should take it out, if not to me, talk to your best friend Aftaab about it. Good night!

I don't know what is wrong with him, something happened in his college, no? something happened at home, no? I should not assume anything... and he is right, it's not a rule for him to talk to me every day I should know how to be okay even if he doesn't say a word to me.