When I Met Him

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟑𝟑

FUCK THIS SHIT! My laptop. It always stops working when I need it the most. I was supposed to fill up my second-year admission form today and this little piece of shit suddenly stopped working. Guess I have no choice but to go to the cybercafé now for this where I actually hate to go. They just make us wait till eternity for a work that can be done in hardly fifteen minutes. But I have to go now today is the last day. Somewhere it's my fault too. I have a habit of procrastination. Its technically not my fault as I overthink so much, I end up doing nothing at the end and then I regret why I do overthink!

But here is the thing, ever since I have got my reports I am not well mentally too. I want Shaad to know all this as soon as possible. Also, I have another idea in my head, but if I do that I'll die from inside. But I need to tell him first what is happening to me. 

I am waiting at the cybercafé. It will take time till then I text Shaad.

ME: Hey, I wanted to talk about something. Something really important. 

He is not online. Might be asleep. 

"Waiting for someone?" A familiar voice came in. Ashfaque. 
"Yeah, just for them to finish so that I can fill up my form." 
"Allow me."
"No, it's okay I can do it myself."
"Fine. And how are things going on with him?" He is asking about Shaad.
"Great!" 
"You don't seem happy."
"What am I supposed to laugh all the time, come on." I yawned.
Though he is correct I am not looking happy, not right this moment. I have so much on my mind how will I tell Shaad all about it, what will happen will he just leave me stranded I don't know there are thousands of possibilities to what he can do and what can happen. 

All these thoughts just fade as I suddenly start vomiting, Blood. I am vomiting blood.
"Hey you okay, what's that? Muskan? answer me please say something. what happened to you?" Ashfaque has clearly panicked so am I. I am panting heavily, feels like oxygen have ceased through my lungs and the pressure is too hard I can't breathe in. I've fell down on the road, there is only ashfaque here who I know, and I don't know why but he is there with me he isn't leaving me. But he is perspiring out of fear. The sight in front of him is horrible, anyone could have been in the same place as he is if they would have seen it. Its blood all over the road.

"H-hey, hey Muskan hear me out just hold it I'll take you to the hospital."
"I'll be fine ashfaque its okay." I somehow managed to speak.
"Fine? Muskan you are literally puking blood, and you want me to believe you'll be fine. I have heard enough order from you, I am not taking this one, just come with me."

He took me to the Sion hospital where they just provided me enough oxygen and from there, we went to the JJ hospital, where I did the reports and query about it before. Ashfaque is looking at me amused as he asks, "What happened just now Muskan? I thought it was all of the sudden, but you knew. What's going on?"
"Fine I'll tell you but promise me you won't tell this to anyone. NO ONE. I don't want Shaad to know this from somebody else." He nods.
"I know about this since a week before, I suddenly went unconscious in the library and when I woke up, I rushed to the washroom and saw what you saw today. Then I googled cheap, affordable yet excellent hospitals in Mumbai and came here, the reports said its coronary artery disease, where in I lack oxygen and blood supply to the heart."
"I don't understand science language."
"That's the easiest I could've explained maybe you are dumb."
"So, you are dying?"
"Oh, you came to the conclusion so fast huh."
N-no, no, no. I didn't meant like that---"
"It's okay, I know you'll be the happiest if I die."

His face softened. He might not love me, but he cares as for he is a human after all. 

"What did the doctor say? how long will it take to heal." he asks.
"There are two different ways for it. Either I slowly die with it, or I can fix it with medical course and injections. I am too broke for the second option, so I'll just have to go with the first one." 
"Did you tell your mom about this?"
"Nope. I've got reasons for it. As you already know she has done a lot for me and she is a single parent I must be thankful she has kept me, I don't want myself to be a burden on her."
"That's ridiculous."
"Did I ask your opinion?" 

We remained silent for a while then he asks, "Does Shaad knows about it?"
"Not yet. I am however planning on to tell all this to him tomorrow."
"Why didn't you tell him yet?"
"I didn't feel like."
"You know that mouth of yours can do anything but lie, spit it up, why didn't you tell him."
"If you are smart enough to detect that I lied then you must be smart enough to know I am not interested in telling you the truth. People don't have a hobby 'to lie', do they?"

He is just getting on my nerve. Yes I lied and the reason reason why I have not told Shaad about it is because I am afraid he will leave me and my heart cannot afford that right now. Shaad loves me I know that much does he really loves me enough to accept me with this disease? I doubt that. He himself told me once he cannot afford to marry a girl who is having a disease as it might be problematic to him and his family and he don't burden. And me? I DONT WANT TO BE A BURDEN ON HIM.