When I Met Him

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟎

Everything around me has become silent, all I can hear is my heart racing, beating faster than normal. Shaad is glaring at me from this close, we just have a book in between us in the name of distance. I am not worried about people around me anymore, but the feeling that is emerging inside of me. We are caught in the moment, him glaring at me, me looking into those honey filled oceanic eyes of his. I know we are in public, in the classes, but I am so lost in his eyes that I can't think of anything else at the moment. I need to stop looking at him like this. 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳. I clear my throat, and the tension between us breaks. 

"So, what you want to learn in oscillation?" I ask him casually. He passes me the book where he has written the doubt questions on. It is today that I release how close my back has always been to him, maybe that's why he always sat behind me. Shaad has this habit of looking into my eyes no matter how much I tell him not to. It's not like I don't like it or anything, but he looks me in a way I have no words to explain. Like I am his muse. He only has eyes for me, he never entertains anyone else. He is soft with me, caring with me, attached with me, everything he do for me is just for me he never treats anyone the same way as he treats me, not even close. He has set fire to the world around him but never lets a flame touch me. 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘐 𝘛𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘗𝘙𝘐𝘋𝘌 𝘐𝘕 𝘐𝘛.  𝘏𝘌 𝘛𝘙𝘌𝘈𝘛𝘚 𝘔𝘌 𝘌𝘟𝘊𝘌𝘗𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠. 

But all this will end today. This feeling, him and I, will be over today. I love him, enough to let him go. One day, if he is true to his feelings, if he never changes his mind for me, he'll come back to me, I will always wait for him no matter what. If I were not in the class right now, I would have cried over this thought of mine. My eyes are already filled though. I am teaching him the topic he is doubtful about, but my focus is not on my words, my thoughts have completely captured me. I always wonder what crosses his mind when his eyes meet mine. Do I want him as a friend or a lover? it doesn't matter, I just want him in my life. He is the sun to my sky. I need him more than I want him. 

All my thoughts whooshed away as I felt his legs brushing mine. My eyes widen, I look at him and he smirks. HE FUCKING SMIRKS.  So, he knows what he is doing. How can he do this in such a place, we are surrounded by our friends anyone can see it, most importantly, anyone can see my flushed cheeks. Heat rose on my skin where his legs brush mine and spread all over my body. Just as I am coping up with it, he leans in my direction, coming closer to me. Our foreheads almost touching, my breath hitched. The distance between us is no more. We are so close, breathing the same air, mixed with his musky fragrance and mine sweet. I am basically intoxicated as he smiles looking at me, he knows what he is upto. His smile, he is the perfect example of falling for someone's soul. I have memorized his laugh and those pretty deep dark brown eyes of his. 

It is the eyes; the secret of love is in his eyes. The way his eyes looks and me, they communicate and speak, when the lips never moved. We try to hide our feelings in silence, but we forget that our eyes speak. 

"Are you okay Muskan?" He asks flirtingly.
He knows how much he is affecting me right now. My name from his mouth is like a consonance to my ears. I bet he can clearly see those cheeks of mine turned red. I don't answer him, I can't, his forehead being so close to mine, him being so near to my space, in my close proximity, has so much influence on me that I have my eyes shut. My breathing has gone shallow.
"I asked you something" he says tilting his head slightly to watch my face more clearly.

"Open your eyes" he demands. I shake my head; I'll lose my control if I do open my eyes. The feelings that I've kept inside of my heart will rush into my eyes if they meet his at this moment. I am scared as hell to want him so bad. Has he forgot we are in class. No, he has not forgotten it, he just doesn't care about anyone at here.
"Open your eyes Muskan, I won't repeat myself again." he said this implying his right on me.

I know it's not a request it a command. 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘩𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘴𝘬. Yes, this man has an overwhelming effect on me, on my every sense, yes, I have never been in love before him, and I won't be able to love anyone again after him. I know I've lost it, my heart, my brain, myself to him and I also know that now there is no going back. If I have to, I'll be one sided in love with him if he moves on & forgets me, I don't care, I love him more than he loves me. He has always been patient with me, but is losing it currently, his nostrils flared. He is waiting for me to open my eyes. It feels like he'll not be able to breath if I don't open my eyes and look at him right away.

"I won't open my eyes" I somehow managed to say thinking what he can possibly do about it. Nothing. I am wrong here. He pressed his thumb on my chin and forefinger under it and lifts my head holding my chin to face him, leans near to my ear and whispers,
"Open your eyes now or you'll regret playing with me." It is at this moment I know I am gone.