Lost

Chapter 36

When the unthinkable happens you go into shock. You try and tell yourself it's not real, that it's not actually happening. Even though it is.

My dad runs in my room, I hear him yelling my name. Megan comes in crying, screaming that she wants him back. I feel hands shaking me, telling me to wake up. I'm already wide awake. I don't move, the world around me spins, the voices echoing off the walls.

All I hear is my name and crying.

Everyone says I should have cried, and they're right. That's not what he would have wanted, he would have wanted me to be strong. That's exactly what I'm doing.

Megan crying in the car, my dad almost getting us hit. I just sit in the back, silent. What's going on? The car door is yanked open, I turn and look. Get out the voices scream, go. I won't move, I can't. I'm frozen in time, I can't handle reality.

He said he had 2 weeks, not 2 days. No one suspected this would happen, we all knew he was dying. Not this soon, he had so much time. So much he should have done, so young.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find out Zach was gone, I didn't even get to say goodbye. The last time I saw him was the lake, he asked me to speak at his funeral. It's what I have to do, I owe it to him. He did so much for me, he was there when no one else was. He was my hero.

I clear my throat and look at all the people seated in front of me. I don't know half of them, but Zach did. His parents spoke, so did some of his friends from the soccer team. They were all great, I don't know what to say. I tried writing something, I really tried, but I couldn't bring myself to write anything. Nothing was good enough, I take a deep breath. I have to speak sooner or later.

"Everyone's expecting me to come up and say something great. Something that everyone will always remember" I say, "I don't need to say anything worth remembering because everyone will remember Zach anyway. He had that kind of effect on people, he was so lovable. It was impossible to say no to him. Everyone always had crushes on Zach, I mean how can they not. He was Mr. Popular, I didn't think he would ever notice me. I was quiet, I sat in the back of the class so none of the teachers would call on me. I never had a good lab partner, I didn't have any friends. At the start of this year Zach was assigned to be my lab partner. It was miracle, The Zach Williams was going to be my lab partner. I didn't know what to think, part of me was scared to find out what he was really like. Zach and I got closer, but I truly realized how amazing he was when he joined my support group. That was shocking, everyone thought he was perfect. He wasn't, nobody's perfect, but he made me feel like I was. When I was with him nothing else mattered. He was everything, he meant the world to me. He didn't deserve this, any of this. Life has always confused me, why do bad things happen to good people. It doesn't make sense. The only thing I do know is that everything happens for a reason. I'm not sure what the reason for losing Zach was but I'm sure it was a good one. Zach would have wanted us to believe that, he would have wanted us to be strong. That's what I'm going to do, I didn't come up here to make a sappy speech. I came up here to say that Zach was the kind of guy that could be so hurt inside but still look at you with a smile. So I think we all need to put on our smiles, for Zach"