Sperm Donor | k.sj

Chapter 20

Yubin POV

Empty.

That's what I woke up to.

The bed was empty and Seokjin was gone.

My heart ached at his absence and I could feel my baby's discomfort from him being gone.

"Come home soon," I begged.

I rolled out of bed slowly, hoping to avoid a dizzy spell, but what was the point in wishing against the inevitable.

It was probably due to the extra fun hormones, but my heart felt extremely heavy. Being without Seokjin was a lot harder to deal with than I thought.

I had an urge to be clingy and stick onto him like glue, but he wasn't here for that to ever happen.

Honestly, I was missing him incredibly. It took a lot of energy to fight back tears of longing for him. Call me dramatic, but I had gotten way too attached to him and now that he wasn't here, I felt like I was floundering.

I ambled into the kitchen where my mom was waiting patiently with loads of plates strewn across the table.

"Woah. Mom, I love you and this is a really lovely spread, but my appetite is totally shot. I'd feel bad if I couldn't finish it all," I said.

She smiled warmly, "That's alright honey. I just thought more would be better than less."

I sat down, the obvious absence of my father reminding me of the torture of the day prior.

"Where's dad?" I asked.

My mom gave a forlorn sigh, "He usually doesn't wake up till later."

I glanced at my watch, "But it's almost one in the afternoon."

She nodded, "He never gets up before then. And surprisingly you didn't either. You were never a heavy sleeper."

I chuckled halfheartedly, "Yeah, ever since little Suyeon graced me with her presence, I've been taking advantage of my late mornings. Since I'm peeing every thirty minutes I barely get any sleep so what's a few more hours?"

My mom laughed, "Oh honey I hear you. You were not an easy baby to carry around. It was like if Godzilla decided to exist inside of me."

I scoffed, "Wow thanks mom, love you too."

The two of us fell into a comfortable silence, quietly eating our brunch while the weight of our shared struggles settled into the air.

The food she made was delicious as always. I mean nothing beat mom's cooking and it tasted like the golden days of my youth. Before I was worrying about whether or not I'd be a good mom or if my dad was going to die tomorrow.

My mom offered a gentle smile, "I know that look. You must be in the overthinking, paranoid mother phase."

I snickered, "Was it that obvious?"

She scoffed, "You're my daughter and I've been in your position. You wanna talk about it?"

I shrugged, "I think it's the same concerns any newfound mother has. On one hand, I'm literally counting down the days till I get to see her and hold her hand. But on the other hand, I'm utterly terrified. I want to be the best mother I can be, but what if I totally let her down. I'd never forgive myself if I failed her."

My mom placed her hand in mine, her eyes conveying motherly advice before she even opened her mouth.

"I hear you honey. I thought the same thing when I was pregnant with you. Everyday I'd go through random situations and think of the worst case scenario. It'd eat me alive and I honestly had no idea how to have confidence in myself that I could at least manage to take care of you. That's actually where your father acted like a superhero the most. I think he was the first person I'd ever seen not be scared of what the future as a parent held. He was so excited to see you. It was crazy the immense love he held for the little girl he hadn't even met yet. My point is, you have a great support system behind you. You and your sister have the closest bonds of siblings I've ever seen and your boyfriend is quite possibly the best man I've ever seen after your father. He's not shy to fight for you and I like the passion he has for things he cares about. And on top of all of that, you're the best girl there is. If ANYONE could handle a baby, it'd be you. You'll be the greatest role model to your little girl and she'll be bragging to everyone how she has the best mommy in the whole world."