I'm sorry Ms. Miller

Chapter 18: "You love me?"

The next morning Alex's alarm woke us up, we had fallen asleep on the couch. Alex was completely on top of me and we were both shivering because the blankets had fallen off.

-"I'm sorry babe" She said getting off me and I immediately missed the warmth of her body. I moved to get up and my whole body cracked.

-"Fuck, I'm sore" I sat on the couch and she started massaging my back, I let out a few moans and she chuckled, I turned and kissed her. "Thank you baby" We stared into each other's eyes and I felt my heart flatter. She made me happy. I think I love her.

-"Yesterday was amazing" She broke the silence.

-"It really was"

-"What changed?"

-"I'm not sure, I just felt stupid being fully dressed, and I wanted to be able to feel your body under mine" She smiled and caressed my cheek.

-"We should go on a real date"

-"We can't be seen together in public Alex"

-"Maybe we can go somewhere out of town"

-"We would have to go too far and it would still be a risk."

-"You don't want to go on a date with me. Got it" She said annoyed and turned her back to me.

-"Come on now Alex, don't be like that, I want to, I really do, I just don't want to risk your career and our relationship."

-"Whatever" She scoffed and now I was starting to get annoyed. She got up and went into the kitchen and I followed her. She avoided looking at me even when I stood in front of her. She pushed me aside and walked past me and sat on a stool.

-"Are you serious?"

She ignored me.

-"Come on Alex" I told her and she turned her head away from me. "Jeez Alex, you are acting like a fucking baby" I snapped and she looked at me surprised. "All I meant was that I love you and I don't want you to get hurt in any way, even if that means that I'll have to wait a few months for a proper date" I hadn't realized I was yelling, a tear rolled down my cheek and I clenched my hands.

Her look softened and she stood up and walked closer to me.

-"Did you just say that you love me?"

-"Uh, maybe? I don't know." She looked at me surprised.

-"I-I don't know what to say, thank you?" She stuttered. As I heard her saying that I let a few more tears escape my eyes, but I tried to hide the fact that I was hurt by her reaction.

-"It's okay, I understand" I mumbled and turned to leave, but she grabbed my wrist.

-"I'm sorry Emma, I like you a lot and I want to be with you but I don't think I can say it yet, I don't think I'm there" I nodded because I knew that if I tried to say anything I would probably break down. She pulled me into a hug but I didn't hug her back, I couldn't. "Emma, please don't be mad at me, I just need some time"

-"I'm not mad, I guess I need some time too, to process things" She nodded and let me go. I went in the bedroom and sat on the bed scrolling through my phone.

After a couple of hours I started working on my homework. She came into the bedroom to get her charger and I felt her eyes on me. She turned to leave.

-"Alex" She turned to look at me. "Could you come over here for a second?"

She walked over to me and looked down at the papers I had on my lap.

-"I need some help" She gave me a small smile and climbed onto the bed next to me. I showed her the part that I was confused about and she explained it to me. I started solving the equations she had assigned for homework and she was looking over my shoulder.

-"Wait, you've made a mistake over here" she pointed out and I stared at it trying to figure it out.

After ten minutes of me staring at it and a few attempts to re-solve it, I dropped the pen and groaned. She chuckled and picked up the pen.

-"I think you might need some help with that" She helped me solve it and our fingers brushed as she passed me the pen to continue with my homework.

She sat next to me until I was done, our shoulders were touching and I turned to look at her. Her mouth curved up to a small smile and I leaned on her shoulder.

-"I'm sorry for putting you on the spot and then reacting that way" I apologized and she raised her hand and caressed my cheek. "Can we pretend this never happened?"

-"I don't think that's a good idea" She smiled and hugged me. I got up to put my books away and she went into the kitchen to cook. After forty minutes she called me to eat.

-"I made fish with baked potatoes and a salad" We sat at the table and started eating. "Do you like it?"

-"Yes, it's great"

We finished our food and I took the dishes in the sink and washed them while she went into the living room to work on the lesson plan for the week and correct some papers. When she finished we cuddled on the couch reading our books. I started reading one she gave me so that we can discuss it later and she did the same.

-"Babe, it's late, we should go to sleep" I said while still looking at my book, but I got no reply.

I looked up and she had fallen asleep, and the book she was reading was now on her face. I took out my phone and snapped a picture of her before proceeding to wake her up.

-"Babe" I shook her. "Babe, wake up" Still nothing, I leaned down and pecked her lips, she opened her eyes and smiled. "It's late, let's go"

I gave her my hand and helped her up, I put my arm around her waist to stabilize her and we lay on the bed, she set an alarm and then laid her head on my chest.