chapter 35

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Tuesday, 26 December

I wake up in a hospital bed and...

Me: Kgotso.
Kgotso: I'm right here.

He says from beside me.

Nurse: Ms Nhlapo, how are you feeling?
Me: okay.
Nurse: everything is fine and so is the baby. your husband can fetch you tomorrow.
Me: thank you.

The Nurse exits and the silence in the room is very loud. I look at Kgotso and tears escape my eyes, effortlessly so.

Me: baby...

He gets up and leaves and that just leads to my break down. My mom walks in and rushes to comfort me. I know we weren't on talking terms but I need her.

Mom: don't you think you should come home with me, baby?
Me: no, mama. I'm a wife...
Mom: not yet.
Me: mama. I am going home where my man is.
Mom: no. we need to think about the child you're carrying. if this could happen in front of Kgotso then who knows what else could happen?
Me: mama, he loves me and he tries by all means to cherish and protect me.
Mom: he failed to protect you from this.
Me: there was nothing he could do.
Mom: Nandipha.
Me: mama. all I need right now IS Kgotso.

My mom looks at the door and I do the same and there stands my man looking broken and defeated. I broke him. He then walks away.

Wednesday, 27 December

He brings me a black winter set and warm novelty slippers, along with some thick socks.

Kgotso: there is a throw over in the car. it's quite chilly today so...

I nod and change while he sits there, playing games on his phone. He normally loves watching me get dressed so it shatters my heart. I silently cry and the moment I sniff, he stands up.

I am only wearing the top that's part of the set and my underwear.

He comes to me, stands behind me and hugs me. I start sobbing and he picks me up, places me back on the hospital bed and he cuddles me.

Me: I'm sorry.

I then hear him sniff before having a full on breakdown. I turn around and wipe his tears away.

After some time, we get up and he helps me get dressed. We then head to the car and he turns on the heater, he then reclines the seat for me before passing me the throw over. I try to hold his hand but he yanks it off.

He then starts the engine and I'm not so amused by it today.

21:42

I get in bed with Kgotso and he continues to work on his laptop.

Me: can we talk?

He does not respond so I decide to speak anyway.

Me: okay, i will talk and you will listen. Kgotso, I'm...
Kgotso: did he force you?
Me: what?
Kgotso: did he force you?
Me: I-
Kgotso: answer my question, please.
Me: no, he did not.
Kgotso: then I don't know why we need to talk. I mean I did take you from another man.
Me: Kgotso, what is that supposed to mean?
Kgotso: if the shoe fits.

He shrugs, gets up and exits our bedroom.

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