Ruin Me

12. Challenge me

After my run with Sawyer I crept back into my room hoping to avoid the rest of the boys, I wasn't ready to face them yet. Thankfully the whole floor was still asleep.

Back in the sanctuary of my room, I showered away all the dirt and shame of last night, I dried my hair and changed into comfy jeans and a band tee. At least looking decent might help make up for the embarrassing things I did last night. Something told me that it wouldn't.

"Cara, we know you're awake, you have to come out at some point," my heart sank at Mitch's voice. But at the same time it swelled, he was still speaking to me even after he'd been forced to get my sick covered unconscious body home and changed.

"Come in," I called knowing that if I didn't invite them they'd come in anyway.

Mitch was the first one in, he hesitated in the doorway for a moment before striding straight across the room towards me. I was stunned when he wrapped his huge arms around me and pulled me into a vice tight hug that nearly crushed me. I felt so safe in his protective cage though, a sense of calm washed over me knowing that he had a hold on me firmly in the present. It made me feel that if I slipped away someone would notice.

"God, you scared me," Mitch's gruff voice whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled back.

"Don't ever scare me like that again okay," Mitch unraveled his arms to grip me and look me straight in the eye. I immediately missed his warmth.

"I won't," I tried but I knew I couldn't make any promises. I was a ticking time bomb ready to push all those I'd grown to love away from me.

"Hey Vegas," Nico was the next to hug me, enveloping me in his earthy scent, "you really know how to party, eh?" His joke fell flat so he stepped back, his expression downcast.

"Morning Cara," Sawyer gave me a look to say that he hadn't told them about our morning run. Probably best for them not to find out about my complete memory loss.

I turned to Grey, he was leaning against the doorframe watching the scene with a dark shadow across his face. I saw pain flicker across his eyes when he saw me. For a moment I thought he might come over and my heart leapt at the thought but he just shifted so he was lying back on the wall inside my room. My whole body melted into a puddle on the ground.

"I ...um ...I wanted to say thank you," I stumbled trying to find the right words, "for helping me last night, you really didn't have to." I crossed my arms and folded in on myself.

"Of course we did," Mitchell objected swatting my words away like a fly, "friends help each other."

I stared at them all, they were my friends? I didn't know what having proper friends was like, my mom had been my only true friend but I couldn't always count on her. Did having friends mean you'd always have someone to look out for you? To make sure no harm came to you? It sounded so simple when you thought about it but in reality friendship seemed so much more complicated.

"I'm really grateful though," I amended feeling the relief of getting it off my chest.

"Come here Vegas," Mitch pulled me into another vice tight hug, "let's just forget about it and move on, eh?"

"I'd like that a lot," I nodded quickly.

"Then it's already forgotten," Mitch grinned, "who wants to watch a film?"

I should have been more happy, I knew that, they'd forgiven me which was more than I deserved, but despite most of the weight being lifted there was still a nagging sensation in my stomach. Grey hadn't said anything to me yet. I wasn't going to force him though, he could speak in his own time.