It Will Be Better (Eddsworld X Child!Reader)

15.) When there are no tears

     (Disclaimer: Hey there! I just wanted to leave a little disclaimer up at the top of this chapter: For anyone that finds anxiety/panic attacks triggering, you may want to skip this chapter and on that particular note, I'm sorry about the portrayal of these type of attacks in this chapter. I tried my best to accurately portray them as best as I could, but if I did incorrectly portray them at all, I would be willing to change anything. Anyways, happy reading!)

     You bit down on your tongue, trying your best to hold back a slurry of anxious words. You were tempted to have an outburst in Norwegian or in one of your other many known languages just so that Edd and Matt wouldn't be able to hear your estranged words. As you expected that if they found out about how Tom had impacted your vocabulary, he was sure to be in trouble. Besides, you knew that they both wanted to make sure that you didn't learn any of those swear words from Tom, or Tord, and you would respect that. Or, at least try to. Instead, you settled for holding your shaking hands under the table, trying to hold them still as your nervous jitters increased. In fact, your whole body was starting to shake a bit, impacting your breathing as well.

     Short, shaky breaths left your mouth as you avoided the gazes of your caregivers. You could hear them "bickering" with one another as Edd tried his best to explain to Matt that not all news was to be dropped as quickly as he had dropped their news to you. You stared at the surface of the wooden table, noticing its worn down gloss and chipped edges, showing its constant use as you desperately were trying to detach yourself from the situation. You scrambled to latch onto any random thought as it passed by in your head, to no avail. A sudden voice broke through your thoughts and pulled you out from your haze. You noticed Edd's mouth moving, his lips forming the shapes for words, but you had missed what he said.

     "Sorry, Edd. What did you say?" You asked the green-hooded man, trying your best to focus on him rather than on your chaotic thoughts.

     "I asked if you were okay, (Y/N). Are you?" Edd questioned you once more, holding his can of cola in his hand, not saying anything else. Waiting for, along with a concerned Matt, your response.

     They must have noticed your shaking and you cursed at yourself for being a nervous wreck. Thinking about Edd's question, if you were being honest with yourself, you had to admit that you weren't okay. You were a mix of emotions and a mess of thoughts. You felt out of tune, like a guitar without its strings. You weren't going to be honest with them however, even if it pained you. You wanted them all to not be worried about you.

     You hastily forced out a reply to Edd, desperate to ward off his and Matt's concerns, "Yeah. I'm fine. Just taking a minute to process everything, Edd."

     Edd looked unconvinced, but didn't say anything else. Matt, even with the look of concerned confusion he kept flashing at you, was a ball of never ending energy and he looked as if he had a million things to say. Though, he didn't say anything, and tried his darndest to keep quiet. Not wanting to "drop" something on you again realizing, to an extent, the consequences of his actions.

     Edd spoke, a sense of calamity filling his voice, "It must be a lot to process, actually," he seemed to be thinking about letting out a chuckle, ultimately deciding against it, "but that's why we're just thinking about it. We want to get your opinion on the matter first before we do anything."

     Edd turned away from you and gently elbowed Matt in the shoulder, a weak smile showing on his face. A sudden realization dawned on the ginger and his confused concern was replaced by his own grinning smile. He eagerly waited as Edd set down his cola and handed his phone over, after unlocking it and reading the message from Tord, to him. Grabbing at the phone, Matt quickly managed to pull up a website from the school and he leaned across the table, causing Edd to scramble to grab his opened can of cola before it spilled, holding the phone up to your face.