chapter twenty two

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ava's pov.

i sat there, looking out the window as billie drove. i haven't said a word. she hasn't even tried either, she just was calling people. we've been driving for almost 2 hours, and we left new york.

i felt sick to my stomach and i felt lifeless. i keep replaying it over and over in my head. i was so angry inside. billie doesn't know anything that happened before she came in. keyvon raped me. over and over. they all watched him, as he forced himself into me. i begged him to stop. the pain was excruciating, my whole lower half is numb.

i was angry at billie inside, she put in this position. i know she didn't know who keyvon was, she just knew about an ex who did it to me. but now she does. i'm upset at billie, but i couldn't let him kill her. she came back for me, and i love her still. i just don't know how to feel. my depressive thoughts are taking over my mind, and i don't even have my sister or marina. i was worried about them, i knew jah was there but this mario person clearly has a lot of people. and there's only one jah. my sister can put a fight but not with a tall muscular man with a gun.

when i shot keyvon, i couldn't stop. i wanted him to feel how i felt. he was dead, i knew that. but he made me feel like i had no way out other then to kill myself, multiple times. 

when i realized what i did, i completely gave out. i have no energy for anything. i wasn't gonna fight billie on leaving, i knew i had to go. i had to face i made a huge mess, even though billie brought me into it.

we drove silently for a 20 more minutes, until we pulled up a complex looking place. she parked in the way back, behind all the cars. almost in the parking lot.

she turns off her car, and looks at me with a blank expression. "are you okay?" she says.

i continue to look out the window. "where are we?" i whisper.

she unbuckles my seat belt, and continues to look at me. "it's a safe house." she says, getting out the car.

i open my door, and i get out. i zipper up my jacket, covering my bruised legs. i don't know why, but i didn't want billie to see it. i knew she'd flip out, and i don't have the energy to try to calm her down.

she looks back at me, with our bags. "let's go." she says.

i follow her up to the back of the complex, and walk inside. it's a normal house, but there's groceries all over the table.

i look over at it, and billie watches me. "jayvin brought it for us. we will be here for while." she says.

i'm immediately infuriated. what the fuck does she mean awhile? i have school. i don't want to be away from my sister.

i give her a glare. "what the fuck do you mean awhile billie?" i say, with an attitude.

her face turns into her regular cold bitch face. "i mean a fucking while. he is looking for YOU because YOU killed keyvon, you should've just let him fucking shoot me." she spats.

i can't believe she just said that. i know i gave attitude, but she had to throw that me? when i haven't even processed that i just fucking KILLED someone?

i feel my bloodshot eyes tear up. "i fucking killed him because i wanted to protect you! and for everything else he's fucking did to ME." i yell.

her facial expression softens, then goes right back to cold. "i don't need you to protect me. & i could've handled him ava." she spats.

i immediately turn away, looking for the bag she brought for me. i grab it, and go up the stairs.

"ava- " billie yells, but i was already up the stairs.

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