Chapter 58

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Emma

I returned to the room Dawood and I were staying instead of going to the dining room. I was too overwhelmed with emotions and needed some time alone to contemplate. My unexpected pregnancy left me wondering about its possible effects. 

Would Dawood be happy with the news?

He would be surprised for sure, as I was. We never discussed having kids. Both Dawood and I wanted to focus on our careers. But with my pregnancy, everything had changed. We would need to think of a plan going forward. I still had almost six months left at the law school.

Managing classes and pregnancy would be difficult, especially with morning sickness. I had already missed too many classes and was lagging on my assignments. Would it be better for me if I dropped out of the semester and continued my studies after my delivery?

I was happy and confused at the same time and couldn't think straight. I wanted to share the news with Dawood. Would he be shocked? Would he be happy? How would he react? One thing that I was sure of was that Dawood would protect our child with his life, just like how he was protective of me.

How would everyone in our family react to the news? Babaanne, for sure, would be happy at the news, and so would Natasha and Mehmet Ordimez, along with Mom and Abi. But I wanted to share the news with Dawood before anyone else. I even made Gemma promise me she wouldn't tell Dad about it unless I told Dawood first.

I couldn't wait to see Dawood's reaction.

My mind drifted to my siblings and their possible reactions to my pregnancy. How would Ahmed react? I knew all my siblings would be happy for me, but I wasn't sure about Ahmed's reaction. He was too volatile. He wasn't pleased that he needed to share my attention with Dawood. Knowing that I would have a kid and would be devoted to my child, he might get upset. I could worry about it later, but first, I needed to think of how and when to tell Dawood.

I decided to shower and get ready for bed by the time everyone finished dinner. While showering, I tried to think of some romantic way to break the news to Dawood. Should I tell him that night, or should I wait until we return to Boston?

Dawood's birthday was on the fourth of January, and I had planned a surprise party for him. I could use the occasion of his birthday to share the news with him. His birthday was only a week and a half away, and hopefully, I could keep it a secret from him.

Dawood was too observant and perceptive, and if he got suspicious I was hiding something from him, he wouldn't rest until he uncovered the secret. I needed to be very careful in front of him. The biggest concern was my nausea and morning sickness. Would I be able to hide it from Dawood for so long? Even today, it was Kade and Aiden's presence at the dinner that distracted Dawood.

I wiped my body brushed and dried my hair, then slipped into a hoodie and a pair sweats. When I exited the bathroom, I saw Dawood standing beside the bed, staring at something on the nightstand.
My stomach dipped when I saw it was the pregnancy test stick. Dawood picked it up and then turned to me.

Shit!

There went all my plans of surprise down the drain. I couldn't see myself getting out of it without telling him the truth.

"Is it yours?" Dawood asked in a threateningly low voice.

The hair on my neck rose, seeing the vein on his forehead throb. It was never a good sign.

"Dawood...I..," I started, but he interrupted me.

"Are you pregnant?" He stepped in my direction.

Something invisible gripped me, taking in the restlessness in his eyes. I had only ever seen that emotion in his eyes when he found me with Hamza at the law school, and I knew how it turned out for me.

"Dawood, I was going to-"

"Answer in yes or no," he boomed.

My heart shivered like a dried leaf. I never expected Dawood to react in such a way.
I expected him to be surprised, but I never thought he would be enraged.

"Answer me, Emma," he gritted with a clenched jaw eating up the distance between us. 

"Yes," I answered hurriedly, terrified of his anger, "yes, I am pregnant."

The stick fell from his hand on the floor between us. Dawood stared at me with a combination of shock, despair, and anger on his face.

"How?" He murmured.

I swallowed.

"How could you let this happen?" He roared, making my insides twist with dread.

"Dawood, why are you-" he didn't let me complete the sentence again, "How did this happen, Emma?"

I was stunned at his reaction and couldn't think of anything to say. Dawood's unexpected outburst shocked me to the core.

"You were on the shot, right? Then how did the pregnancy happen?" He stared at me in question.

"I... I missed the shot," I pushed the words out of my mouth.

"You, what?" Disbelief covered his features.

"I missed the shot last month. I was upset because of the revolts in Azmaayir, and the appointment slipped from my mind," I told him.

Dawood punched the wall beside me, making me jump. What was wrong with him? Why was he acting like that? Didn't he want to be a father?

"Why are you acting like this?" I couldn't help but ask.

"You are asking me why I am acting like this?" He asked back, then grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to him with a jerk, "You only had one thing to take care of, and you couldn't even do that?"

"What...  what do you mean?"

"I help you with almost everything. Your studies, your assignments, cooking, and cleaning up the kitchen. You only had one responsibility of taking the shot on time, and you couldn't even manage that?"

His words pierced my heart like a knife. An intense ache spread through my chest. Tears stung at the corner of my eyes and then pooled in them, blurring my vision of him.

"You don't want the  baby?"

"It's not the baby. It's you, Emma. How can I think of having a child with a woman who doesn't even love me? How can you expect me to curse my child with the same fate as mine?"

I pulled my hand from his grip with a jerk and stepped away in disbelief. I had done everything in my power to convince Dawood that I loved him, but he still didn't believe me. How was I supposed to make him trust me? How was I supposed to make him believe that I love him and I would never do to my child what his mother did to him?

"You want me to abort the baby?"

A shadow passed Dawood's face at my question, and he turned away from me with a jerk. I watched him pick up his jacket from the back of the armchair and head toward the door. I snapped out of the trance and rushed to him, then grabbed his sleeve."Answer me, Dawood."

"I am heading outside. I need some fresh air. I can't stay in the same room as you." He opened the door and stepped out, freeing his hand from my hold.

"Dawood, you can't just walk out on me between a conversation," I followed him into the hallway.

"We will decide on the pregnancy when we are back home," he declared, then climbed down the stairs leaving me behind with a scarred heart and a thousand questions.

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