You Adore Me

•Wanting To Die•

Rebecca's silence made me realise that she had left me to be alone. I was glad, as I didn't want to discuss the ins and outs of my dwindling mental health. I threw my clothes onto the floor, not bothering to carry out my nightly ritual. I had had enough of thinking about why I was unhappy, especially since Thaddeus was beginning to suss out the reasons why I was working for him. It wasn't to look at him- that part he knew. It was to be surrounded by the misfits of the city, as well as the city's partygoers. The rich and the famous mingling with the slightly middle classes- all without a problem. The eccentric and the normal under one roof. I sighed, turning off my light, crawling into my bed. The blankets comforted me, nursing me into my happy place. The one place where my body didn't affect me, nor did the ever-looming presence of my new employer, Thaddeus.

Closing my eyes, I buried myself in my covers, a welcomed peace washing over my mind.
                             ~>•<~

Penelope acted as though I didn't exist, which was becoming the 'norm', and with the absence of guests I felt that my existence wasn't entirely necessary. I span around in my chair, eyes rolling into the back of my head from the sheer boredom that an almost empty hotel brought into my life. I was glad that Thaddeus hadn't demanded for me to clean up one of his messes, for the second time. Instead, I found myself enjoying the company of a pen and paper, doodling flowers for hours on end. One thing that I was hoping for, was for Thaddeus to not have remembered my episode last night. I didn't want to lose my job because I couldn't be truthful to somebody I had only met three times. I don't think that he really cared about my real intentions for working there, instead he wanted to make me cry. I could tell that he liked to be in my company- for reasons unknown to me; for those same reasons, he enjoyed seeing me cry. Sighing, resting my head on the desk, I stared blankly at the stack of forms sitting patiently next to my head.

"I wouldn't go to sleep if I were you. He'll be lurking once he knows that you're here." She said, her nail file stopping so that she could speak to me.

"And how would he know that?" I asked, probably sounding a touch too cocky. I didn't attempt to apologise for my attitude, I didn't feel like she deserved an apology from me anyway. I was under the impression that she had been told that I had run away from Thaddeus the night before, however she was clearly staying true to her usual, ignorant self.

"Because he knows everything. And, he's already standing on the balcony up there. Sometimes he does that when the place is quiet, he's rarely out of his suite when he knows that the guests can recognise him. But, I think that he's here to watch over you. He clearly likes you." She whispered her last few words, I rolled my eyes, facing the other way. I didn't want him to look at me, nor did I want to look at him. He was enjoying himself; making me feel this way. It was probably how he got his kicks, and I wasn't about to support his little habit.

"Is there anything that needs to be done that will get me away from him? I don't want to be ogled at for the rest of my shift." I grumbled, listening to her chair creak. She stood up, her heels clicking against the floor momentarily. She dangled a key in front of me, I reached up, snatching it from her manicured hand. She chuckled, pointing to the hall across the lobby. It was the room where my life had decidedly been ruined- the room where I had met him.

"Set the room up for tonight." She said simply with a shrug, before folding her arms. 

I practically ran across the lobby, knowing that he would make his way down there eventually. At least I had plenty of room to hide from him. There were huge chairs, two bars, all of the tables that were strewn across the room. I sighed, switching on the light. I hadn't bee able to appreciate the room in all of its glory. Almost everything was golden, and the whole space smelt of rose water. It was my favourite smell- other than expensive cologne; his expensive cologne. I shook my head, I was not allowed to find him attractive, even though he was the most beautiful thing that I had ever laid eyes on. Letting out a deep breath, I straightened a few tables, picked up some of the leftover crap from the pretty floors. My last job was to stock the bars, and I supposed that that wouldn't take very long. Then I could hide elsewhere, or sit under the desk in the lobby and mess around on my phone until Tallulah got here. I just didn't want him to look at me, I felt embarrassed when he stared at me like that. I felt even more imperfect, even more of a waste of flesh.

There were two huge boxes outside the room, both full to the brim with assorted bottles of alcohol. Huffing, I managed to drag them both inside, ordering the bottles from the least to most expensive. Two more boxes, two bars stocked, I turned to make my way to the doors. I stopped in my tracks, instantly freezing He was standing in the doorway, a box in his hands, looking pleased with himself. He bent down to slide it across the floor, it landed at my feet. Cocking his head to the side, he leant in the doorway, his lips apart.

"You're so helpful." He said, his hands tucked into the pockets of his incredibly tight jeans.

"Thank you." Was all that I could manage to say, bending down to pick up the box.
I heard him close the door, making his way to the huge booth at the far end of the room. I could feel his eyes making holes in the back of my head, they way that they usually did, but I was refusing to allow him to get to me in the same way that he did last night. I wasn't expecting him to apologise to me- the word was simply not in his vocabulary. He was a snarky, manipulative little thing that was enjoying me squirm in front of him.  Putting the last bottle away, I sighed, running a hand through my blonde hair. He was still watching me, looking me up and down as I gathered all of the empty boxes together.

I found myself staring at him, entering into a competition that I didn't want to be a part of. His legs were crossed, his fingers grazing his lips with one hand, the other hand between his legs. He squinted at me, as I rolled my eyes, picking up the empty boxes. "Hey." He called, I turned on my heel with a loud huff, noticing that he was standing up now. He was getting closer and closer, making me skin crawl as he moved. "I think that we should be more honest with each other." He said simply; closer and closer.

"I don't know what you're taking about Thaddeus" I stammered, biting the insides of my mouth. Before he began to talk again, I found myself inches away from him, admiring all of his features. My hands were tucked in my pockets, eyes trying to escape from him, only to find themselves cornered in his gaze. I shook my head, face beginning to burn. His lips parted, his hand reaching out to touch my face.

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Song Of The Chapter- Woman by Harry Styles

A.N
I start college in week, how fucking terrifying is that? The next two years are gonna go unbelievably fast and I can't handle it already :/ that means I'm 17 in thirteen bloody days 👎🏻 what is going on??

Don't forget to comment and vote, it really helps me out <3