He had finished eating long before me, and had migrated to the space next to me, patiently watching me as I ate. It was as though he was forcing me to eat until I could no longer- if anything, he was making sure that I wasn't trying to starve myself. His hand was close to my thigh, as though as he wanted to squeeze it. I knew that he was trying to refrain from touching me, in my head I was imploring him to grab me as hard as he could. I placed my empty plate on the floor, tucking one leg underneath my body, turning to face him. He smiled, copying me, leaning his elbow against the back of the couch. "Is this what you do with all of your boys?" I asked, raising my eyebrow, watching him get closer to me.
"No. You know what I do with the others. You've picked one up off the floor. You're not like the others, there's something different about you. The way you act, the way that your eyes absorb every ounce of light in the room," He began, shifting closer to me, "I have never met somebody so interesting, so beautiful- ever in my life. And I'm not just saying that to take advantage of you, Jacob." He said. For some reason, only half of me felt that he was being sincere, the other half refused to accept the compliment that he'd paid me. It was something that I had never thought that I could achieve, as I wasn't satisfied with the way that I looked.
"I don't believe you." I mumbled, looking away from him, listening to him grumble with discontent. I was leaning on the arm of the chair, covering my mouth, before I turned back to face him. He was looking at me as though I was trying to explain a deep philosophical question- his brow was furrowed, his hand in the air.
"Are you stupid?" He asked, leaning in closer to me, his brow still furrowed. I shook my head, still hiding my mouth. "Take you hand away from your mouth and answer me, Jacob. It's easier for me to understand when you don't mumble." He said, moving my hand out of the way. I breathed out a deep sigh, wishing that I would've just agreed with him. It would've been easier for me that way. I wouldn't have had to explain myself again, as I was growing tired of having to do it.
"No, I'm not stupid Thaddeus. I just - I don't agree with you. I find it hard to agree with people that compliment me. It doesn't feel right when I'm complimented on looks that make me unhappy. There's a particular way that I want to look, and, because of my family, and the way that the world works, I'll never be able to be the person that I've always dreamed of being." My hands were shaking, my lip was quivering, and my eyes were threatening to release a waterfall's worth of tears.
He stood up, picking me up off the couch, throwing me over his shoulder. I begged him to put me down, and it's safe to say that I was slightly terrified of what he was planning to do to me. I heard him switch on the lights, before I was placed on the floor. He wrapped an arm around my torso so that I couldn't move away from him; I wouldn't be able to escape from his reasoning. I looked up at him, seeing a straight face, full of seriousness and the will to prove me wrong. "You look in that mirror, and you tell me why you don't like your body. I want to know."
"I-I"
"Do it, Jacob. Enlighten me." He said, his tone stern. I looked into the mirror, my stomach was jumping around inside my body, and I felt the tears begin to form in my eyes. I sniffled, noticing that he was resting his chin on my shoulder, he held onto me tighter, raising an eyebrow to force me to focus on the task at hand. My body.
"I just want to wear pretty dresses and be happy." I said, biting my bottom lip to stop me from bursting out into hysterics. He let me go, spinning me around so that we were looking into each other's eyes.
"Who is stopping you, Jacob? Who on this planet is stopping you from wearing clothes that you want to wear, and painting your goddamn nails. The only person that I can think of is you. To me, you're beautiful regardless. Put on a dress- you're attractive to me. Don't put on a dress- you're still attractive to me. Whilst you're here, you can be anybody you want to be. I promise that you that you don't have to hide who you are when you're here, you can be whoever makes you happy." He said, cupping my cheeks, as tears fell from my eyes. He lovingly kissed my forehead.
"I'm scared." I said, breaking down into tears. He shook his head, wrapping his arms around me, my tears saturating his shirt. He rocked me from side to side, as years of pent-up emotions flowed from my eyes.
"I can help you, okay? You don't need to be scared. This hotel, it's a safe place for the strange, the wonderful and the different. That's why kids flock here every single night. Tallulah came here because he was unhappy, he wanted to be himself. He loves his family, and he still wants to provide for them. I make sure that he does, whilst dressing in a way that makes him feel loved." He said, all I could do was sob. I held onto him with all of my strength. There was truth to his words. I believed that he would help me be who I wanted to be, I believed that he would love me regardless - I could tell from the passion in his eyes. It was probably one of the first times in his life that he cared for somebody other than himself. "Do you know why I would do anything to help you, Jacob?" He whispered, I shook my head, sniffling.
"Because, I love you."
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Song Of The Chapter- Be Nobody by Sundara Karma
A.N
Awe man I love this story. I have a huge amount of drama planned for it and I can't wait to write it. I haven't been as active because I've started sixthform and I have a lot of work for my A-Levels, on top of that I have to be assessed for a Starbucks job, and I'm also planning on doing a lot of photography in the near future.
Also, I just wanna say that I bloody love Sundara, and this story is gonna be filled with their lyrics because they're meaningful, and their songs because they're also meaningful <3
Don't forget to comment and vote, and also check out my Harry fic- it really helps me out <3
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You Adore Me
Teen FictionJacob Hill is a quiet young man. He's caught up in his own world, as he battles to figure out who he is. In a last ditch attempt to get a glimpse of the people he admired as a child, he goes to work at The Westward Hotel- a place well-known for its...
