j* Movie Reviews 2019

Apocalypse Now: Final Cut (1979/2019)

This movie does alright for helicopters, that's for sure.

There's so much infamy about this film, but I don't think I'd ever seen it go-to-woh before. At least this one is the "final cut" so I know I've seen the one that really matters. Well, the one that really matters for this decade. I just feel there'll be at least another three or four versions recut before I die. I do wonder if the shorter version is better. I should watch the making of, "Heart of Darkness." Because after watching the making of Island of Dr Moreau I just can't help thinking there's a pattern. If you cast Marlon Brando, you're gonna have a bad time. It was worth seeing on the big screen to truly appreciate the vastness of the shots, and the gorgeous lighting.

The first two hours of this are absolutely amazingly good. I was totally digging it. Wild crazy 'Nam times. So many helicopters. My mind was boggling at the amazing feats of directing so much chaos so beautifully. I also wondered how tightly it even was directed... I mean if you say to a bunch of helicopter pilots "we want something like this" I'm pretty sure they can effectively self choreograph. But I was still glad to see it. So many zippy helicopters shooting stuff, breaking stuff, dropping stuff, being epic. Non-CGI legit real live choppers en masse. Ironically, the concept I most associate with this film, music blaring from approaching war-choppers, is probably the least good version I've ever seen - every other film that uses the idea does it better.

And that's part of the weirdness. Seeing this movie is like seeing strands of DNA or a skeleton of an archaic animal, pre-evolution. It's like all the features are really familiar in more modern forms, and this is some kind of flashback or vestigial organ. And it's fun to look at, and mostly has great bones. I mean it even has young Charlie Sheen... like so young it's actually his Dad who looks so spookily like him. It's a movie filled with the familiar, but not quite right. The action as I've already mentioned is spectacular. At the start...

But the last hour is completely unnecessary. When we finally meet the baddish guy Kurtz he is so completely underwhelming. He's about as menacing as the moon, which is how his head is filmed, with lighting depicting varying phases. Bit of a waning gibbous if you ask me. The entire last hour is men standing around and mash ups of artsy shots of stone statues and attempts at implied menace. Basically any part of the film after the bridge doesn't bring in anything new or add to the story. If you want to know about "the horror" it is 100% the realisation that they chose to end the film that way. For me it is far more accurate to describe the ending as "the disappointment, the disappointment."

It's a film that starts with bangs and action and fire and brimstone and lunacy and war-games and comedic over the top characters, but then ends with some kind of video-art that would be okay on loop in a modern art gallery. And by okay, I mean you might watch it for ten minutes then walk on. You wouldn't watch it for the full hour.

If I could rate the two parts separately

First two hours-ish: 4 stars.

Last hour: 1 star.

It makes it hard to overall, because the bad and boring section is the bit I was left with. But for statistical benefit of the doubt, overall

J* gives it 3 stars.

PS.

Original "short" version (1979): 2hr 27mins

First Assembly bootleg: 4hrs 50mins

Redux version (2001): 3hrs 22mins

Final cut (2019): 3hrs 2mins