The Lion King (2019)

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This is faithful remake with exquisite CGI insectivores that Attenborough would probably be proud of.

I came to the 1994 one in the cinema. There had been weeks of anticipation for the groundbreaking new animation. Particularly the wildebeest stampede...so many news stories were covering the magical way computers had been used to manage the beest. I feel like I lost count of the number of times I saw those dots, those blobs cascading down the un-rendered gorge.


So the original was a breathtaking step for animation, and the new one is a worthy upgrade. To see the faithful re-rendering of all the scenes and all the songs with hyper-real animals is phenomenal. It makes you realise just how far we've come in that space in 25 years. It is a direct remake I support 100%. Not a completely word-for-word remake, but very close.

I'm not really a fan of Disney musicals, let alone the animated variety. Like superhero films I feel they lean a bit heavy into the drama and worship of the patriarchy/monarchy. But if there was ever going to be one this biologist-heart loves, it's this one about the pride. I cried solidly through the opening, Circle of Life, probably the most beautiful musical tribute to nutrient cycling and mortality there has ever been.

All the songs (nearly) are there. All the creatures. All the beauty. But this time it's "live-action." I love to cringe at that description. To imagine our technologies have advanced to such a stage that we can direct real-live talking lions and hyenas and warthogs and meerkats et al in an epic outdoor production. Maybe a better term is "CG-reality?" I don't know. It's crazy.

There's no surprises, which is probably for the best. There was a heap of swaying through the fairly packed audience... those moments of intense anticipation when you just knew the next song was about to break.

There were a few thoughts I had about the voicing.

Mufasa was as annoyingly Optimus Prime as ever... which is both a comment on the character and keeping the original voice... I mean why? I don't think anyone else got a role reprisal? And I know, I know, technically Mufasa is as annoyingly Darth Vader as ever, but he gives me all the Annoying-mus Prime feels. Like last time I did just wish he'd go and die in a ditch (or a gorge - whatever) and, well... you know the story.

I didn't love young Simba as much... but I think that's natural because I was hormonally 14 and an awful lot of girls my age were pretty randy for Randy Taylor Thomas at the time. If you never realised just how much double entendre the "pinned you!" and "pinned you again" had, I'm here to tell you those scenes definitely had a lot of teenagers feeling the love. But if this new voice of little Simba is as heart-throbbingly appropriate for todays 14 year olds, that's cool.

The only other complaint if have is that I felt Scar lacked so much of his deliciously campy and totally over the top vibe. Compared to the original, I felt like this was a bit of a read through - just didn't get those creepy excellent feels from Scar's scheming spiels.

The insectivores though, OMG those are so cool. I feel there was a real excellent love from the team for these little gremlins of wonder. So much diversity in there, such an excellent bug-squad. Not just Timone and Poombah, but their little grubbing friends. Delectable.

It's a great movie. But...

I do have a but. While I completely dig the realism of the animals themselves, I also feel this has in some ways constricted the visual joy. I kind of feel like there could have been some happy place a little more in the middle-ground between over-the-top animated style of the original and the National Geographical realism of the new one. Like let's keep in mind we've made the animals speak, guys, we're doing realism but this isn't actually a doco. So I just think, within the realistic framework of the speaking bodies, there was a bit more opportunity for whacked visuals.

What I'm trying to say here is I feel this 2019 film suffered a little bit from "too much gravity" and probably too much gravitas as well. Everything is just a bit too beholden to physical laws of the real universe to be a completely awesome animated story...and if that was their plan, to deliver "live-action" lion king... they have.

But Lion King is an animated story, and animation has its own amazeballs laws. There is some service to this, during Whim-o-Weh. In this sequence I feel you see some of the oddball joy that the whole film could have had, but missed. Maybe in another 25 years we'll get a completely physically immersive VR version where you can adjust your own levels of desired fun or seriousness. On this note, I feel I experienced my most suspenseful remake execution moment in this... waiting to see how live-bait would prey out. I'll just say I am aching for some bacon.

You know you're going to see it, or you're not. These stars have no impact on anything, they're just some gaseous fireballs a burning that I pointed out in the night sky.

J* gives it 4 dead kings.

Stardust to stardust.

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