Finding Contentus

Chapter 87: Twin Truth

In the weeks leading up to the new month of October, Genesia and Neosa had fallen terminally ill. The consequences of their conditional contracts caught up to them like an apocalyptic storm of severe and chronic depression. The agony felt like an eternity, and the ramifications could not be healed.

Genesia's negativity made him sink and sink and sink. Not only did he go to war with the weight of the world, he went to war with himself and the warrior he had to become in order to be great in Metro.

He cursed himself. Why is it always so easy for my head to fill up with my own problems compared to everyone else's?

His thoughts swallowed him and he merged with the abyss of dread. Naturally, he had to break down so many times like a monument that would never be constructed again, only to reconstruct himself again by sheer force of will. Like Malikess pieces on the board. The overbearing pressure was like sinking underneath an ocean floor. In fact that's where he and Gene went, an underwater cave in the Indian ocean.

Some days Genesia couldn't breathe, like he had no lungs. Some days he would weep profusely and silently. Some days he just wouldn't function at all. His body was constantly freezing in the worst temperature known to... anything.

He truly, truly, truly drowned.

This didn't just make Ramela very worried, but also furious. "I should never have done this," she would say with a terribly angry and anxious expression, only for Gene to weakly reply with a hoarse voice and a grim face. "If you can... handle all of me... I'll find a way... to handle all of you... I just need... time..."

For the meantime, Genesia got sucked into a black hole of despair. Femi would come into his navy painted room and stare at him arrogantly.

He patted her behind the ears. "Is it pathetic that I don't know what to think anymore after all the things I said before?" He asked her with a weak hum.

"Yes." Her answer was straight to the point.

Well at least she's brutally honest. Gene chuckled weakly.

"I've never understood why people let petty things such as morals dictate their power. Do you see me feeling guilty for eating my prey?" She wagged her tail and gnawed at him to stop being so depressing.

Genesia frowned solemnly. "But this is something you can never understand, Femi. Just as... humans can never truly understand us Racaans." At least the ones here.

"So why do you still hold back? Make them understand, and if they don't, kill them to understand yourself. Give in to your saber tooth tiger's instincts. You need your spirit for power. How else will you be a living God? How else will you reign over the sheep? Do you feel guilty everytime you trample over ants? You don't care or notice do you? The only thing you notice is your own path. Walk it and own it." The lioness encouraged.

Kepi agreed. "If I could squeeze your hesitation away, I would, but sadly, it seems like that isn't working."

Genesia didn't even notice that the spitting cobra was, in her own way, trying to help until she let go of him.

The mental strain and stress killed him. He wallowed in loss and pain. I'm even lost in my drifting depression. What kind of low is this?

"You will be lost, terrified, broken, in pain and confused in the sinking darkness, but you will understand one day."

When Mpho? When will I understand?

He slept his days and nights like he was a leaf withering away. Sometimes he would feel empty and cold for no reason, other times those same feelings would crash into his bones, leaving him boneless without a frame or structure.