𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭 [𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮; 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐀𝐔]

|14|

[ A t s u m u ]

Yawning, I lay my head on the window of the car, watching the scenery pass by. We've been on the road for an hour now and I'm really tired. We woke up at 5 AM and drove by Oikawa's place to pick him and Iwaizumi up. He's dead asleep while Iwaizumi is wide awake on his phone. They're both in the middle seats of the car.

Sakusa places his hand on my thigh, squeezing lightly while driving with one hand. He's been very careful with me these past few days after that whole incident. I flinch whenever he touches me and he hates it. He only hates it because he knows that I'm scared of him, even if it is the tiniest bit.

Ever since then, I keep having dreams about my childhood. More specifically about my dad. They were every night, and even though I was snuggled up close to Sakusa, I still had bad dreams.

I keep reliving those times he would whip me. I haven't told anyone about them, not yet at least. I especially haven't mentioned the constant suicidal thoughts. They won't leave me alone and it's getting bad. I want to die and I feel like I could actually go through with it... But there are things keeping me here. More specifically a person.

Pulling into a parking lot of a store, Sakusa parks the car between two trucks. "Iwaizumi and I are going to grab some stuff, stay here." The raven orders, stepping out of the SUV with Iwaizumi following in his actions.

Once they're out of sight, Oikawa starts waking up. "Good morning sunshine, sleep well?" I ask, chuckling as I turn in my seat to look at the brunette.

"Fuck, man. I hate sleeping in a car." He whines tiredly, yawning and stretching. "Where are we and where are our boyfriends?"

"We're at Walmart and they left us here to grab some stuff. Probably snacks." I respond, looking around. It's not really a sunny morning, there's clouds covering the sky and in the way of the morning sun.

"Ah. How long was I asleep for?" He asks.

"About an hour. We have 2 more hours to go."

"Oh great."

After about 5 minutes, the guys come back. "Nice of you to join us." I say, rolling my eyes and grabbing the bag from Sakusa as he slides into the driver's seat. Grabbing my favorite drink, Cherry Cola, I hand Oikawa his favorite, Dr. Pepper.

"Iwaizumi has the snacks, I have the drinks. Well, technically you do since you snatched the bag from me." Sakusa says, chuckling. Smiling, I take a long drink. "Once we get to the lake house, Iwaizumi and I are going to go to the store to stock up the pantry and fridge while you two get everything settled."

"Sounds good." Oikawa says, leaning over to Iwaizumi and kissing him on the cheek.

"Here, choose a song." The raven says, starting the car back up before handing me his phone that's already connected to the radio. Humming, I immediately know what song to play. Baby Blue by Adam Jensen.

"Oh my gosh! I know this song!" Oikawa squeals, Sakusa reversing out of the parking space before turning the wheel and driving off. "'Tsumu, you have the best taste in music, I swear!"

"Heh, thanks." I respond shyly, looking out the window and smiling.

"I lost myself, then I lost you! I held my breath, would you hold yours too? Now I'm dyin' without you, baby blue, now I'm dyin' without you, baby~ It's 4 AM and I'm in my head, and I don't know if I'll feel again, 'cause I'm dyin' without you baby blue!" Oikawa sings along to the song, obviously happy.

"I can't go back, I'm out of sight... I'll disappear. I can't go back, I'm out of sight... I'll disapear." I add, the part that Oikawa sang repeating itself. "I lost myself, then I lost you.. I held my breath, would you hold yours too? Now I'm dyin' without you, baby blue, now I'm dyin' without you, baby~ It's 4 AM and I'm in my head, and I don't know if I'll feel again, 'cause I'm dyin' without you, baby blue... Now, I'm dyin' without you, baby blue."