𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐭 [𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮; 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞 𝐀𝐔]

|29|

[ A t s u m u ]

I'm out at the store with Oikawa and Iwaizumi because I don't want to be alone in a house with Sakusa and his ex-girlfriend, not to mention their child. I'm still learning to accept everything that happened. Because of that, my suicidal thoughts have been getting worse. I often get out of bed when Sakusa is sleeping and go downstairs into the living room to sleep. I'm sure he notices but doesn't say anything about it.

It may seem like I don't want his attention, but in reality, I do... I'm ignoring him on purpose to see how he'll react and if he'll reach out to me, but he just... doesn't. It really hurts because he's been too preoccupied with Mei's baby.

Iwaizumi says he's just trying to give me space, but I don't want that! I'm just too hurt and scared to say anything about it... (Literally, how I felt with my ex because of one toxic relationship I went through back a couple of years ago. He completely ruined my ability to love and trust properly.)

"Hey, 'Tsumu... How are you doing?" Oikawa asks, walking over to me and leaving Iwaizumi to be the one to scan over the freezer aisle contents.

"Just peachy," I respond with an eye roll. Oikawa knows the truth about me and the way I'm feeling about Sakusa. "Can I go look around? I need time to myself..."

"I would, but Kita has been spotted around the area. I can't let you be alone. Sakusa would literally kill me if he found out that I left you alone and unprotected." At this, I groan and cross my arms. "Don't give me that bullshit, it ain't happening and that's final." He then whips around and walks back over to Iwaizumi.

Placing my hands on my belly, I gulp and let the tears roll down my face. The two look over at me with worry written all over their faces. Oikawa sighs, walking over and hugging me tightly.

"I just want to stop hurting... He's making everything worse, Kawa..." I mumble into his shoulder.

"I know he is. He'll come back to you on his own."

"But that could take forever!" I cry softly, pulling away to look at the brunette with teary eyes. "If I can't go by myself, can you walk around with me?" I ask quietly, my best friend smiling at me with a nod.

"Is that okay, Iwa?" He asks, looking over at his boyfriend who nods. Oikawa then grabs my hand and guides me around the store, looking for nothing in particular. About a minute into walking around, my stomach starts cramping. "'Tsumu, are you okay?"

"Just cramps," I mumble, wrapping my arms around my stomach.

"Well well well, look who we have here~," someone says, Oikawa freezing in place and staring at me before turning around slowly. "Oikawa and Atsumu, what a lovely sight! Where are your boyfriends, hm?" The guy asks, the brunette pulling me behind him.

"What are you doing here, Kita?" Oikawa asks coldly. Fuck, so that's Kita?

"It's a public store, I'm allowed to be here." The man states, smiling at us. "I know who you are, Atsumu... And I know about your situation with my dear friend Sakusa. It's a shame he's choosing his and Mei's baby over you and your own." He says.

"Atsumu, don't listen to him," Oikawa says in a warning tone, grabbing my arm gently. Yanking my arm away from him, I take a step toward Kita.

"I can treat you better. I'll put everything down for you and be there when you need me to be. Sakusa has failed to do that, hasn't he?" Kita asks. Looking down, I gulp and tremble lightly at the thought of Sakusa choosing someone who isn't me. "He's chosen Mei, he doesn't care about you. Not anymore."

"Atsumu, you know that Sakusa loves you. He has chosen you over everyone else. Kita is just saying this to have you for himself!" Oikawa states in a begging tone, yanking on my arm. "He wants to kill you to get under Sakusa's skin." He adds.

"Hmm, the expression he's pulling says that he's considering it. Come on, Atsumu... I'll treat you so much better." Kita states, smiling softly at me.

"Thank you, but no thank you," I mumble, turning around and walking away. Oikawa lets out a relieved sigh, quickly following me after sticking his tongue out at the man with white and black hair. "I just did that to scare you," I say with a small smile, the brunette scowling at me.

"Funny." He mutters, rolling his eyes. "But I'm telling Sakusa what you did, there's no getting out of what he's going to do to you."

I did not think that one through.

—

Stepping inside the house, Oikawa rushes into the living room where Kiyoomi is located. "You better run." Iwaizumi whispers to me.

"WHAT?!" Someone shouts from the living room. My eyes widen as I take off up the stairs. "GET BACK HERE!" Kiyoomi demands, chasing after me. Making it to the bedroom, I shut the door and attempt to lock it, but the man pushes himself into the room, slamming the door shut. Trembling, I back up against the wall. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! HUH?! I know you hate me right now, but that was going too far as to scare Oikawa shitless thinking you were going to take Kita up on his offer!"

"I didn't think it through..." I mumble, looking away with tears in my eyes. "H-He said that you chose Mei over me... I don't like that, Kiyoomi, I really don't. I want your love and attention, but that baby is taking everything away from me! You didn't choose Mei over me, you chose that baby over me!" I cry.

"Do you really feel that way?"

"What kind of question is that?! OF COURSE, I DO!"

"I- I can spend more time with you, I'll-" He starts, but I cut him off.

"Do you love me?" I ask quietly.

"I do, I really do. I haven't been giving you much attention because I've been busy with something big... The baby just keeps getting in the way. Mei has been helping me with this big "project", and she has accepted the fact that I love you and not her. Just wait, my love. The moment will come soon enough." He says softly, caressing my cheek.

"Okay..."

He then connects our lips in a sweet kiss. "To make it up to you, we're going on a little trip tomorrow. Just us." He states, pulling away slightly as I wrap my arms around his neck.

"Looking forward to it," I mumble, pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose.

"I love you, Atsu."

"I love you too, Omi."

—

Sitting in the living room, I lay my hands over my stomach and stare down at the floor. "Hey, are you doing alright?" I hear someone ask. Looking over, I smile weakly at Mei looking at me worriedly. "You seem to be zoning out..."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... thinking." I mumble with a frown.

"I'm not the enemy here, Atsumu. Not anymore at least." She says softly, sitting down a bit away from me.

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"I can see how much he adores and loves you even when he's just talking about you... I... I forced him to do it with me. I wouldn't shut up so he gave me what I wanted and in return, I stayed quiet. He never loved me like he does you. You're everything he's ever wanted. And this big thing he has planned for you~ it's going to show you just how much he loves you."

"...I can't help but think negatively about it." I mumble with a frown, staring forward.

"Try to move on from those thoughts, it's nothing bad, I promise."

"Okay, if you say so."

—

A/N: I'm trying, man. This story is going downhill and I don't know how to bring it back up. I feel like it's trashy and that people will soon lose interest in it. I MIGHT just take a break and write another story, preferably SemiShira. A lot has just been piling up on me lately though. I'm struggling to graduate, the puppy keeps getting into stuff he shouldn't, and I'm stressing about my story and thinking "omg, I need to get another chapter out!" I'm honestly fucking tired of feeling that way. But that's just my anxiety talking.