Behind The Church

XIII

Kate

"You'll be okay. I'll call every night, I'll text you as much as I can, okay?" Tina reassures me at the drop off point. She's going to Wales to spend some time with her grandparents during the spring break.

I absolutely adore her grandparents. Her grandmother, Carmen, is from Spain and always makes a big fuss over Christina, always telling her how much she's grown and how beautiful she is. "Just like your mother!" she'd exclaim. Tina calls her Tita, which is short for Abuelita.

Her grandfather, Aled, is so calm and I can see that she gets her temperament from him. He's tall, has blue eyes and had blonde hair and a well built figure back in the day, I think Christina looks a lot like him, apart from the tall and well built part. My girlfriend is tiny and unhealthily skinny. Christina calls him Tadgu, which is Welsh for grandad.

"I know I'll be fine, I'm just worried about you. That's three weeks without therapy. Will you be okay?" I worry.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Tita and Tadgu will make sure I'm okay. I'll be with some of my cousins too. Stop worrying, I'm gonna be okay." she reassures me further.

"Okay, well have fun. You better call and text. I love you, have a safe trip." I order, kissing her lips softly.

"I will be sure to do all of that. I love you, too." she kisses me one last time before heading into the airport with Adrianna. I wave them off before getting back in my Dad's car. He's never been too fond of me dating Christina, but he supports it nonetheless.

"When will she be back?" my Dad asks.

"A week after spring break ends."

"Okay. Will I need to pick her up?"

"No, Mammy will drive. I think you will be on another work trip."

My Dad stopped working for Joshua after he got arrested. Josh didn't treat his workers right anyway, so now Dad has a better job and a larger income. But that also means he travels a lot more.

"Okay." he said before erupting into a coughing fit.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." he choked out.

Once we got home, I notice that Dad is not his usual self. He'll normally say hello to Mammy before he goes straight to what he would do in his spare time, but he didn't say hello to Mammy.

Mammy looks at him with frustration yet sympathy. Her gaze landed on me and her eyes softened, as they normally do when she looks at me with those blue eyes that I inherited.

"What's going on, Mammy?" I ask.

"I know you're not stupid, spud. So, I won't deny that something is not up. I will tell you, just, let me finish this and we'll have a chat on the couch." she said, gesturing to the pile of vegetables that she is midway through peeling. Her accent still as thick as ever, another trait that I have inherited from my Mammy.

"Can I help?" I offer.

"Sure, spud. Can you fill up that saucepan with water and help me with the peeling after?"

"Of course, Mammy."

I do everything she asks and we finish peeling and placing the vegetables in their respective saucepans quite quickly. After Mammy bins the peelings, we sit on the couch.

Mammy takes a deep breath before she takes my hand, "Spud, what I'm about to tell you is very difficult for anyone to say. And for me to tell you, will make it more real." she starts. I can see the tears threatening to fall down her face.

"Your father had been diagnosed with cancer in multiple places and doctors are amazed that he's been able to walk around and work for as long as he has. When he was diagnosed, he was told he had six months." she began to cry.

I squeeze Mammy's hand upon hearing this news.

"When was he diagnosed, and where does he have cancer?" I ask.

"He was diagnosed just under six months ago. All of the 'work trips' he's been on was actually time spent in the hospital. He's losing vision in his left eye because of his brain tumor and has difficulty in breathing because of leukemia."

"So, Dad doesn't have long left?" I start to cry.

"No, I'm so sorry spud." she sobbed and took me into her embrace as I sob with her.

How come I was in the dark so long? We should've spent that six months together. Why didn't I know?

I hear a another set of coughs, this time worse than it was in the car, followed by my Dad calling my Mammy.

It all happened so fast. Mammy rushed to Dad, then came back out looking for her phone, dialling 911.

The ambulance came and took Dad away, performing CPR on the way out. There was blood coming from his nose and mouth. Mammy got us all in the car and took us to the hospital. I waited with my younger siblings for hours, while Mammy stayed with Dad. He wasn't in a good condition.

"Kate?" Alexandra, my youngest sister grabs my attention. "What's happening to Daddy?" she questions, sitting on my lap and playing with my brown hair. She's only four.

"I don't know, Xand. I don't know." I answer. I know Anaheim is not stupid, I know she's caught on, but I can't say anything, I just can't.

Mammy comes from Dad's room, "Kate, he wants to see you." she says softly.

It's all happening too quickly.

I follow Mammy into Dad's room. He's wheezing, struggling. Mammy leaves to go back to my siblings.

"Dad?" I whisper. He didn't answer, so I moved closer. Closer until I was right next to his head. His eyes opened.

"Kate, I don't think I'll make through. So, can you promise me something?"

"I'm listening." I nod.

"Break up with Christina."

"What? Why?"

"That girl is not right in the head. And your relationship is an abomination. Settle for a boy. A nice one, who'll treat you right."

"But Christina treats me right." I tell him.

"Please, Kate. I don't want to die knowing my little girl is a faggot."

"How could you say that?"

"So will you?"

"No. I could never do that. I love Christina. I'm never gonna leave her and she will never leave me. I don't care about what you think about it, I'm not leaving."

"Then go to hell, you dyke. You're disappointment to me, your Mom and the whole world. Get lost, fag." he spits between coughs.

It happened so fast.

"Take it back." I grit.

"No." he says, his heart monitor speeding up by the second, his breathing becoming more laboured and his body becoming weaker.

"Take it back, Dad! Please!" I beg. My last memory of Dad can't be him condemning me to hell.

"No. I hate you and what you've become."

Suddenly, his heart monitor goes flat, his body stops struggling. My screams and cries alert the doctors.

"Time of death, four forty-eight." she announces, solemnly.

"No! Help him! Please!"

Mammy came in and took me into her arms. "I'm sorry, spud. He signed a DNR."

Mammy had to drag me out of his room and to the car, where she left me crying while she went back to sign papers and get my siblings.

It happened so fast.

We drove to Eliza's to pick up Ruth and Zoey, and went home.

Mammy took the girls to bed, while I struggled to get out of mine. I couldn't eat, sleep, get up, I couldn't do anything. So, when Christina called, I couldn't answer.