Behind The Church

XXXIX

Christina

After Kate had left a few days ago, I did a lot of work with Connie. She's was able to coach me through everything and helped me understand my feelings and others, especially when it came down to reading dad's letter.

She really helps me and understands me very well. But more on a behavioral level not the emotional and physical level that Kate understands me. I've made a lot of progress these last few days and I just know Kate is gonna see a different person.

Connie had left to to talk to the head nurse and I was left in the room, just tapping away like the drummer I am.

I think about my girls and how much I miss them. I hope they're okay. I just want to see their smiles, right before my eyes. I want to hear their laughs. I want to feel their tiny arms wrap around my legs and smell their comforting scent. I hope they miss me just as much as I miss them.

And my sisters. I hope they're coping. It's hard, for me and for them. Especially for Esther. She's seen some shit. She's traumatised. And Adrianna, I know she blames herself when it it's not her fault.

Marley. My best friend. I'm worried about her because I was noticing symptoms of depression before my attempt. I hope she's doing better. Though, I'd imagine that it would be hard for her right now. I mean this in the least self-centered way possible, but with me gone, I'd imagine that the house is different and I know that change is hard. It's hard on everyone. I just hope she's getting by without me.

And Kate. My fiancé. I'm sure she's trying her best to keep morale up, even though she's got a lot of inner turmoil herself. She's a trooper. And I love her.

"Christina?" Connie waved her hand in front of my face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just really miss my family. Like, really bad." I answer honestly.

"I know. And I have good news. You have one more visit today. It will be your older sister, Quinn. She's going to escort you home." Connie announces with a big smile on her face.

I stood up and felt a big urge to move around. So I let the energy out by shaking my head, flapping my hands and much to my dislike, squealing like a little girl. It annoys me but it helps me regulate.

"I'm so happy!"

"I see that. So, let's get your stuff packed away. That way we're ready for Quinn when she arrives."

"Okay." I grin.

Connie gave me a small suitcase to put all my stuff in and I be sure to pack everything as neatly as possible. After that was done, I couldn't sit still.

"Do they know I'm coming home?"

"It's just Quinn who knows, at the moment. I'm sure it will be a wonderful surprise for them."

"Yeah. I'm so happy. I can't wait to see Kate and the girls and Marley and Esther and Adrianna." I list like a little kid.

"I'm very proud of you, Christina. You have made so much progress in the weeks you've been here. I am immensely happy with how your dealing. But I'd like for you to keep seeing me."

"Yeah, I'd like that, too."

"Do you understand why?" she questions as she sat down in her bed.

"Even though I'm doing better, it doesn't mean that something isn't going to come up. I still have a lot to talk about and work on." I explain as I sank down onto mine.

"Yes, that was my thinking precisely."

"Do you have a family, Connie?"

Sure it may be an intrusive and blunt question, but I am curious.

"I do. I have a little girl at home. Even though I shouldn't, I tell her about you and she wants to meet you. She goes to school with Ruth and Zoey."

"What do you say about me? All things good, I hope." I chuckle.

"I say that we're both learning how to parent. And I tell her how you and Kate were learning from such a young age and are doing so well at it. And she says how great your girls are in class."

"I do have two kickass little kids." I grin.

"That you do." Connie nodded.

There was a knock at the door and Connie got up from her bed to answer it.

"Hey, you. Are you ready to go?" Quinn asked as she came through the door in her police uniform.

"Born ready." I say.

"I'm just gonna talk to Doctor Clarke and I'll come right back, okay?"

"Okay." I smile. But once she closes the door, I got up and pressed my ear against it to listen to their conversation.

"I just want to ask if you'd like to go out on a date with me?" Quinn questioned. "I really enjoy being around you and I really like you. I love our conversations on the phone. Everything about us is just... Amazing. I'd really like to give us a chance. What do you say?"

"I'd love to, Quinn. I feel so crazy about you." Connie replies. Then I heard lip smacking and that's when I ran back to my bed to sit on it. I pretend like I hadn't heard any of that, so that also meant pretending not to be ecstatic.

I never knew that they were seeing each other. It's kind of cute actually. Connie has been here, taking care of me while also scoring herself a date with my sister.

The door opens and Quinn's happy face peers in, "Let's go." she smiled.

I picked my suitcase up, put my mask on and proceeded to leave the room. Connie followed us through the discharge procedure and out to the car.

"This is where we part ways, Christina. Well, just for a little while before I schedule our next appointment."

"Thanks, Connie."

"It's no problem." she shook her head. I pulled her in for a hug and squeezed her tight.

"Good luck with Quinn, I hope it works out well." I whisper to her.

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" Connie mused when we pulled away.

I shook my head with a grin and got in the car. Ready to get the hell away from this place and hurry back to my loves and home.