My Boss

32

Alex took a few seconds before she continued.

"What happened to us the past few days, or weeks... It was, umm... It was really great..."

I'd do anything for her to stop, really!

"I did not expect for it to happen, I didn't plan it and I don't mean to lead you on..."

Ha! At least she knows that she was leading me on!

I looked down again as I felt the punching on my chest become stronger and stronger. 

Keep yourself together, Cara!

"I've hurt you. I know that, I just, I needed time to figure things out and..."

This is it!

"I'm sorry, we cannot happen. I'm not, I'm not gay, I'm not even Bi so, I don't know what had happened the past few weeks between us. I just... I'm sorry, is what I wanted to tell you and I... We cannot..."

"I get it, Ms. Williams. We cannot happen, believe me! I get it." I can't help but interrupt her. She's obviously trying to find the right words that won't hurt me, well, even if she finds the polite words to use, I'm still damn hurt!

The pain was slicing through my being but I cannot show it to her. She'd seen me cry already once, I think that's enough.

I cannot show her more of my vulnerability.

I wanted so badly to run to the bathroom or just away from her but I have to force myself to act fine. I can go a little bit later maybe, but not now.

Alex is staring at me like she was wondering or something, she must be wondering why I am showing no emotion at her. She may be expecting tears to flow down my cheeks as she shoots me down. Well, she's not gonna get it! Not today!

"Is that all, Ms. Williams?" I asked her in a firm voice. I even made sure that I held my face up.

"Uhh, y-yeah. Yeah, that's, that's all." Alex seems to swallow a lump in her throat.

You're not gonna see me cry today, Alex!

She shifted to her chair and took another sip of her coffee while she averted her eyes.

I took that chance to look at something else too. I opened my laptop and started typing, what was I typing? No idea. I just need to do something, busy myself maybe.

Where are those damn documents?

Alex as well started typing at her computer, pretending also? No idea.

Another 10 minutes had passed before we both heard a knock on her door.

"Come on in." Alex shouted.

Three guys came in with 2 flat trolleys full of folders. My eyes fell looking at them, it's not gonna be just 2 weeks, it's gonna take me forever to finish all those!

"There are two more trolleys Ma'am." One of the guys said.

I stood up and have my mouth hung open.

There's more?

"You can keep them on the side please." Alex gestured to them where to keep the folders. The guys started stacking them up properly.

"Are they arranged by country?" Alex asked them.

"I believe not, Ma'am." 

OMG!

I sat up again, just looking at the guys as they unload and stacked the files.