My Boss

62

We stayed in that position for several minutes, trying to calm my nerves, removing negative thoughts from my head.

Alex needs me, what am I doing?

"I'm- I'm ready to..."

"Are you sure?" Agatha interrupted me, worries across her eyes.

"Yes." I nodded at her and slowly stood up.

Agatha slid the door open for us both.

She guided me to the chair beside Alex's bed and made me sit.

"I'll give you a moment, dear. If you need me, I'm just outside." 

"Thank you." I uttered without looking at her as my eyes were fixed on Alex.

I gently clasped her hand in mine, a myriad of emotions flooded my senses. There was an overwhelming sense of helplessness, as if no amount of love or comfort could shield her from the harsh reality of her condition. Yet, intertwined with the despair, there was a fierce determination, a resolve to stand by her side no matter what the future held.

My fingers trembled slightly as they brushed against hers, the warmth of her touch a bittersweet reassurance in the midst of uncertainty. Tears welled up in my eyes, a silent testament to the depth of my love and the fear of losing her.

"Alex..." I whispered.

"I'm here, baby... Please wake up, I'm here..." I cried.

I stared at our hands before leaning over and kissing the top of it.

"Please wake up, please..." I squeezed her hand multiple times.

Several minutes had passed, Alex stayed the same. If it were not for the Doctor, I wouldn't have moved from her side.

Agatha came in inside as well, held my hand and we both waited for the Doctor to finish checking Alex.

As I watched the doctor's every move, a whirlwind of emotions churned within me. There was a deep-seated fear, gnawing at the edges of my consciousness, threatening to engulf me in a sea of despair.

"Vitals are the same, and to be honest, I can't really tell if the medicines are working and why she hasn't woken up. I'm gonna need to take her for an MRI to see what was happening. I'm sorry if I don't have any good news." The Doctor looked at both of us with her empathetic eyes before instructing the nurses on what to do.

They wheeled Alex out of her room and Agatha and I were left alone. 

I sat on the couch with Agatha following me, her hand was still in mine.

"Do you want something to eat, Cara? Or to drink? I can go grab you something."

I shook my head, I don't think I'd be able to eat or drink anything in this state.

"I can see how much you love my Daughter, Cara. Though, I don't know about your story, I am glad that she met you."

I listened to her silently.

"Do you know that, after her second chemotherapy and her Doctor told us that it was not working, she didn't want to go here and continue with the treatment, and last week, she surprised me and told me to make an appointment for the chemo and she wanted to try it again. I didn't ask her questions because I was just so happy that she decided to fight this thing... And now I know why..." I heard Agatha sniffled.

"She already lost faith, Cara. In a way, I understood her, with each Doctor that we see, they say the same thing and I know Alexandra was suffering, from the pain she felt and I thought, maybe, just maybe, ending it would be much better, at least she won't be in pain anymore, the suffering will end, and so I supported what she wants even if her Father disagree with it."

I squeezed Agatha's hand, I know it must be hard for her to tell me this.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, Thank you, Cara. Thank you for making my Daughter fight this. I know in my heart that she will pull through. She's a fighter, she will get through this. She has to..."

Gathering my courage, I pulled Agatha and hugged her tight, offering what little comfort I could in the face of such overwhelming despair.

"I believe in Alex, Ma'am. I really do." I said with much conviction, trying for my voice not to crack.

Her head rested on my shoulder as we both leaned our backs to the back of the couch.

As we waited, the silence between us grew heavy with unspoken fears and unshed tears. There was a rawness to the air, a palpable sense of anguish that hung over us like a shroud. 

After half an hour or so, the nurses were wheeling Alex back to the room.

"How is she?" Agatha asked them as she stood up, I did the same and went to Alex's side, holding her hand.

"The Doctor is coming in to speak to you, Madam." Agatha nodded and joined me.

We waited for a few minutes till the Doctor came, holding a brown A5 envelope, inside was a disc which I'm guessing contained Alex's scan report. 

She pulled the monitor beside Alex's bed and inserted the disc.

"This is her recent scan..." She pointed to the right side of the monitor before pointing to the left. "And this was the scan before the treatment." She looked at both of us before continuing.

"As you can see, the tumor had grown, not much but it shouldn't be like this, especially after the treatment. And here... is her optic nerve, which the tumor is now pressed against." The Doctor looked at us again.

"If and when she wakes up... I'm afraid her vision will be compromised." 

As the Doctor's words hung heavy in the air, a cold shiver ran down my spine, and a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. The news landed like a heavy blow, stealing the very breath from my lungs. 

As I turned to look at Alex's still form lying on the hospital bed, a single tear escaped the corner of my eye.

Blind? Alex will be blind?

Agatha sobs beside me, her nail digging into my arm.

"Is that the reason why she isn't waking up?" I managed to ask with my voice shaking, holding Alex's hand, squeezing it.

"No. It could be fatigue or... any number of reasons, but at this moment, we are not sure why she hasn't woken up. Nurse Mary here will draw her blood for us to conduct a more series of tests."

"And her blindness?" I asked again.

"It could be temporary, but there's no way of knowing till she wakes up."

Before the good Doctor turned her back, she caressed Agatha's arm and mine.

I sat on the chair, with Alex's hand still on mine. Agatha sat on the couch behind me.

I stayed beside Alex for probably hours already but I didn't care, Agatha already left and came back with food for me but I didn't touch them, I knew she was worried for me too but I couldn't eat or drink anything.

"Babe, wake up... Please, wake up for me..." I rested my face on her hand as my tears fell on her bed.

Then I felt her fingers move.

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