It Wasn't Love ✔️

Chapter 4

It was my last therapy session today. My doctor believed that I was well enough to be discharged. With my parents permission, I will finally be rid these treacherous appointments.

I walked into the room, eyeing Diane, whose desk was sat in the middle of the plain room. She gave me a toothy smile as I sat at her desk and I returned it with a small one.

Clearing my throat, I place my hands on my lap.

"Good afternoon Aria. How are you?"

"I'm good." I reply, keeping my gaze focused on my hands.

"And how are you coping?" She asks sweetly. "No... harming yourself?"

I shook my head.

"That's good. It's been a couple of months."

I finally look up and Diane is scribbling down in her notebook.

"The notebook? Is that really necessary?"

"Aria it's protocol, I have to write down everything you tell me. We've been through this."

"I know." I sigh.

"So," Diane places the pen on her desk, interlocking her hands in front of her. "Today's your last session with me. How does that make you feel?"

"Relieved."

"Why?"

I was relieved that I didn't have to come here again and continue to lie to her face. The truth was I didn't want help. I didn't need a piece of paper to tell me that I'm not right in the head.

"Because it means that I'm getting better."

"Ok. And how do you feel now that we're lowering your medication?"

"Scared." The side affects of lowering the amount of tablets I take sends a hole through my heart and I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it.

"Well, if you ever feel like you need an extra tablet, call me."

I nod my head.

"One more thing, I want to congratulate you."

I look up.

"I'm proud of how far you've come. When we first met, you were so anxious and shy and now look at you. You're slowly taking control of your life and you're choosing to live. I'm proud of you Aria."

I wasn't. I wasn't proud of who I am. I'm a liar, and I cheat my way out of things. I didn't deserve half of the shit I have yet I end up being a privileged White girl who has everything. Except a good health.

I've been told to stay strong and keep fighting; but they don't understand... I've already lost the fight.

"Thank you." I whispered, fiddling with my fingers.

Diana smiles sweetly before clearing her throat.

"Now we just need your parents approval and you can finally be rid of me."             Diane grins.

My parents had to approve of everything. They had to make sure that every therapy session was attended and that I didn't make any mistakes. If they actually cared about me and not their reputation, they would be at home with me. They would know that I'm still harming myself and they would know that I'm not alright. But alas, they are away on business and only call a couple times a week. Not that I answer.

As I make my way out of the room, I spot Jacob at the reception desk. Before he turned around, I hide my face and shuffle toward the exit. But he saw me.

"Aria!" He shouts, jogging towards me. Slowly, I turn around, flashing a toothy smile at him.

"Hey." I shuffle in my feet.

We were in the middle of the hall, awkwardly facing each other.

"You... you have therapy sessions?" He curiously asked me.

"Yeah... today was my last one."

"Oh."

I stand opposite him, twiddling my fingers and shuffling my feet.

"Do you... have...?"

"No." He quickly states, running his fingers through his dark hair. "I'm just picking my brother up."

"Right."

***

I arrived home, locking the door behind me and sighing heavily. Today was an interesting day. I didn't-

My auntie was in the living room, sitting on one of the grey couches. She turned her head towards me as I walked in, a bright smile encasing her face.

"Aria, sweetie! How are you?" She says as she stands up to envelope me in a hug. I fling my arms around her shoulders and squeeze the life out of her.

"I'm good. I've just come from my last therapy session." I tell her, spotting the bandages on the dining table.

Slowly I put my bag over them, hoping she hasn't already seen them.

"Your parents just wanted me to check up on you. You haven't been returning their calls."

I turn around, taking a deep breath and running my fingers through my hair.

"If they wanted to talk to me then they can come home and do it." I glance at her, she had her arms crossed and her hip out.

"Well if you answered them, you would know that they're coming home."

This catches my attention.

"What? When?"

"In a couple of months, but it's only for two weeks. They have a break from all the conferences."

"That's surprising." I mumble.

Walking into the kitchen, I pour myself a glass of water and I gulp it down within a matter of seconds.

"They care about you, you know." She shouts from the room.

"Sure."

Hey! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

I have so many ideas about the direction I want this book to go in so if you have suggestions, feel free to tell me.

This chapter took so long to write because of ✨writers block✨ but I'm back on track and ready to release more.

Make sure to comment and click the ⭐️ to make my day.

The next chapter will be out soon! Bye besties!

-H ⚫️⚪️⚫️⚪️