It Wasn't Love ✔️

Chapter 39

I sit with my friends on the canteen table that we seem to have claimed, all of us reletively silent as we ate. I look up and search the table, noticing that one of us was missing. Jacob was at football training. Laura was sitting next to me. Charlie and Jonah sat opposite me. And, Eve. She wasn't here.

I nudge Laura, gaining her attention. "Hey, where's Eve?" I ask, gesturing to where Eve usually sits. Laura looks from me to the empty seat. She shrugs her shoulders, taking a bit of her sandwhich.

"We dropped her." She says, casually. I tilt my head in confusion. "You've noticed how she's been acting kinda... odd, right?" I nod my head. "And she's been treating us like shit, so we told her not to hang out with us anymore. We don't need her negative ass here." Laura says, and I nod my head.

A part of me felt kind of bad for Eve. It's not easy to be part of a friendship group who are much closer to each other than to her. Only Laura is close with Eve. If anything, Eve's behaviour is a common cry for help. Obviously, something's not right in her life. She may be going through something, and it's a little insentive of her friends to just drop her without asking if anything is wrong, first.

After lunch break was finished, everyone went back to their respective lessons. Because I had a free lesson, I decide to sit in the library for a while and wait for Jacob to finish training. As I'm walking there, I see Eve standing by herself in the hallway, her eyes focusing on the screen of her phone. A small frown is on her face, and I can't help it when I walk up to her and catch her attnetion.

"Hey, Eve. I just- I just wanted to talk to you for a minute." I say. Eve stares at me, a look of disgust on her face.

"What do you want, Aria?"

"I... I wanted to ask if you were okay. Laura told me what happened between you and the group, and I just, you know, thought I'd come and check on you to see if everything was okay." I say. Eve raises her eyebrow, a small frown on her face.

"I'm fine, Aria." She says, but it doesn't sound believeable. "You don't even know me, so why don't you just leave me alone?"

I clear my throat, and cross my arms over my chest. "Are you sure? Because-"

"I'm fine. I already said that. Don't make me repeat myself." She says, sternly. I watch in shock as she turns away from me, her thick, curly hair smacking me in the face as she walks away. I blink. I blink again. But no, nothing that just happened has registered in my brain.

I never neccassarily cared about Eve or even considered he as a friend, but I know something is wrong. Her and Charlie were friendly towards each other, and then she flips and starts to find him annoying. With me, I'm used to being met with the cold shoulder when it comes to Eve, but not Charlie. He is the backbone of the group, the comedic element we all needed. And, somehow, Eve brushing him off is sketchy to me.

Before I can evaluate the situation more, I feel a hand on my waist and when I turn around, It's Jacob's brown eyes gazing into mine. I instantly smile, lean up and kiss him. I can sense the shock on his face, because that was the first time we kissed in front of other people. All our other kisses were in private.

"Hey." I greet him. "How was training?" I ask him, and Jacob winces.

"Brutal." He says. "We played a game at the end and Nico, one of our centre-backs, completely took out my ankle." He says, and I look down at his foot. It seemed fine. "It's just a small sprain, but I'm out for two weeks."

"Two weeks?" I ask, horrified that he was injured by his own teammate. "Do you have any games in that time?" Jacob nods his head, looking kind of bummed that he can't play to represent his college.

"Yeah, three." He says. "But, it's fine because they're only minor games. Plus, our back-up third striker is ready to go."

"That's great. I mean, it's not great that you hurt yourself, but it's good that you have someone who can play in your place." I say, my cheeks redding. "Let's just..." I say, trying to change the subject. "Let's just go to the library. I've got some work to do."

Jacob smiles, nods his head and takes my hand.

***

I was getting worse. I'm self harming almost all the time and the anxiety is out of control. As I sat at home, contemplating whether I should just jump off of the roof, I force myself to write a list of all the things that are worth living for.

My parents.

My family.

Jacob.

My friends.

Wanting to graduate.

Wanting to get married and having a bunch of kids.

I really like someone and he loves me.

I remind myself whenever I want to jump, that all those people are going to be heartbroken and that's not something I want them to go through. I don't want to burden them with grief and mourning and pain and sorrow. I would imagine my parents faces, finding out that I was gone. I'd think they'd feel quilty for not being very present in my childhood and all throughout my adolescence. I would think about Jacob's grief-stricken face when he finds out. I think about his reaction and how upset he'd be. It's not something I want to see him or anyone go through.

I crawl out of my bedroom window, sitting on the slightly slanted roof. Looking up at the sky and the stars, I can't help but wonder what it'd look like if I was up there with them.

Aria's outfit:

-H ⚫⚪⚫⚪

P.S. please please please don't be silent readers! I wanna know what you guys think and I wanna respond to some of your comments. I just wanna feel important tbf.