It Wasn't Love ✔️

Chapter 19

Laura went to the celebratory party by herself because both me and Jacob had declined. Laura gave us both a smug grin before she left with Eve and Charlie.

Now, both me and Jacob were at his house, settling down to watch a movie. This was the first time I'd seen his house from the inside. The layout was exactly the same as Laura's house but Jacob's was a lot more colourful and bright. His parents weren't home when we arrived but there was a young boy, who looked to be about 16, laying across the sofa, fast asleep.

"Is that your brother?" I whispered to Jacob when I saw him.

"Yeah. Sorry, I didn't know he was going to be home." Jacob quickly gets to the sofa and nudges his brother.

"Aiden. Aiden, you shithead." Aiden stirs in his sleep before he yawns and sits up, his eyes still struggling to stay open. "You're supposed to be at therapy, what the fuck are you doing at home?"

Oh, so this is the therapy brother. Jacob had mentioned him when we met at the clinic. Aiden looked pale and scrawny, not as well-built as Jacob but he was two years younger than the latter. His hair was a mop on his head, it looked like it hadn't been cut in months.

"What?" Aiden mumbles, still rubbing his dull eyes.

"You fucker, you're supposed to be-" Jacob looks behind him at me and takes a step closer to his brother. "Aiden, get off the sofa." He grabs Aiden's skinny arm and yanks him up. Aiden stood a little shorter than Jacob, probably shorter than me too.

"What the hell mate? I was sleeping." Aiden yawns again and steps out of Jacob's grip.

"Get your scrawny ass to therapy, right now." Jacob scolds, giving Aiden a push out of the room. I stood near the doorway awkwardly, moving out of the way when he stumbles past me.

"What's your problem? You've been at my throat these past few weeks and-"

"Now is not the time, Aiden!" Jacob shouts back, staring daggers at his brother.

"Why is it not? Because you're too busy trying to fuck this chick?"

"Aiden, I swear to God-" Aiden turns to me and moves closer.

"Listen, this isn't going to last long. He's gonna get his virgin ass laid, and then he's gonna screw you over-"

"Aiden, leave, or I'll beat the shit out of you!" Jacob yells, moving between me and his brother.

Aiden stares at Jacob and then at me. His breathing is heavy and he looks like he's about to explode.

"Don't put too much faith in him, he'll end up disappointing you." It sounded like a warning. I should probably listen to it...

With that, Aiden turns on his heel and storms out of the house. I watch in silence as Jacob's jagged breathing decreases and he slowly turns around, facing me.

"I'm sorry." He breathes out, taking my hands in his.

"It's... No, you don't need to apologise." I manage to speak after whatever the hell just happened.

"I do. You have anxiety and I don't know what... triggers you or... None of what he said is true, okay? He's ill and he doesn't know what he says half of the time-" Jacob hurries to get his words out, like he's scared that I'll slip away.

"Jacob." He finally stops talking and musters up the courage to look at me. "I'm supposed to be the anxious one, not you." I joke.

He chuckles a little before resting his head on my shoulder.

"Aiden has borderline personality disorder. I don't... I don't understand it, I guess that's why I'm such a dick to him." He mumbles into my shoulder. It all made sense. The therapy, the "fucked up family", as he liked to call it.

I twist my arm around his neck, bringing him closer to me.

"I just confuses me how he can be happy as a bunny one day, and then the next, he's scared that everyone's gonna abandon him and he lashes out." He laughs sarcastically, pain oozing through his voice. "My parents aren't much help, either. They leave him on his own, saying that it's "good for his development." "

"Jacob..."

"You know what the worst thing is? I feel so guilty for acting like a dick towards him. It's not helping him, is it? But I still can't stop. It's like all the fighting we did before he got diagnosed is still in our relationship. I can't drop the routine that we had for ten years."

I try to lift his head up off of my shoulder, but he brings it back down.

"Jacob, please look at me." I whisper, tears on the verge of escaping.

He slowly lifts his head and I'm taken aback from the tears streaming down his face. The sight alone cause a tear to drop from my eye, no matter how hard I tried to keep it at bay.

"Don't cry." He whispers, wiping it with his thumb. I chuckle at the irony before looking up into his eyes.

"You're crying too." I state, rubbing my thumbs under his eye, clearing them of tears.

"I don't cry often." He whispers, my fingers still lingering on his cheek. His arms snake around my waist and he pulls me closer, leaving only inches between us.

Right then, it was like nothing affected me, it was like I had no other care in the world and my entire life revolved around this one person and I had no anxiety, no thoughts about harming myself. Nothing else mattered.

But these feelings don't last long.

"It's okay to cry sometimes, no one will judge you." I chuckle, reminiscing on all the times I've cried myself to sleep.

I look up at the ceiling before looking back to Jacob, the words of a legend sitting on the tip of my tongue.

"People cry... not because they are weak, it's because they have been strong for too long." I say slowly, making sure each word is pronounced properly.

Jacob chuckles quietly. "Johnny Depp, huh?"

I nod my head. "We're all damaged in our own way. No-"

"Nobody is perfect." He finishes.

There was a moment of silence before Jacob speaks again, in a quiet— almost a whisper— tone.

"So much for movie night, huh?"

"Go to the party, Jacob. you should be celebrating your win, not standing here and crying with me." My anxiety started to peak through again, even after I felt so calm in his arms.

They calmed me down but, like I said, those feelings never last.

"I'd rather be standing here and crying with you than go to that lame celebration party."

I push him away, a grimace on my face.

"Don't get all corny on my now, Rickson." He chuckles before pulling me towards the sofa and slumping down onto it.

"So," His hand caresses my hair and his eyes bore into mine. "What movie would you like to watch, Bailey?"

The surname thing. It really does it's job.

So... thoughts on Aiden?

I don't know a lot about bpd so all of this is purely based in research.

The next chapter will be released next Wednesday.

-H ⚫️⚪️⚫️⚪️