It Wasn't Love ✔️

Chapter 37

"Well done to everyone on your biological projects. Most of you passed, and some of you didn't try enough. I want to give an extra shout-out to Laura and Aria because I think your project exceeded my expctations." I turn to look at Laura, and she grins at me. I smile back. "Now, aside from all that, there's a year-wide competition. Most classes will be merging together for the competition, and we'll be merging with Lisa's class." Jacob is in Lisa's class. "For the competition, you have to write a small essay about the correlation between love and luck and you need to read it in front of everyone. The best one will be sent out on the newsletters. Good luck to all of you."

The class had ended, but I was fixated on one thing. You need to read it in front of everyone. I can't do that. I'll end up embarrassing myself and stuttering and tripping over my words. I can't read an essay in front of people.

The next thing I know, someone's arm is around me and I'm being led somewhere quiet. When I look up, I realise that it's not Laura, like I had assumed. It was Jonah. I haven't seen him in a while. "What are you doing?" I ask him, confused as to why he dragged me away.

"Making sure you're okay. You know, with the whole anxiety thing." He says, and I notice the hint of a smirk on his face. "By the way, how's Jacob? I heard you've been seeing him more than his friends have."

That's when I notice how close Jonah is to me. And it makes me extremely uncomfortable. I could feel his breath on my cheek and my back was pressed against the wall and his chest was directly in front of mine.

"Let me go, Jonah." I say, forcing my voice not to break or crack. "I need to use the bathroom." I lie. Jonah chuckles, shaking his head. His hand rests on the wall next to my head, I back up slightly, until I'm completely against the wall.

"I just wanna ask you something." He says, calmly. I feel his breath fanning his cheek and I squeeze my eyes closed, leaning my face away from him. "Why him?" He asks, staring down at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Jacob. Why him? You could have any guy you wanted, you know that. I know that." He says, leaning closer to me. "And yet, you slum around with that bag of balls. I mean, seriously. Why are you interested in his virgin Mary ass?" He asks, and I can't even form a coherent sentence from the shock. I thought Jonah liked Jacob. I thought they were friends.

"Jonah, what are you-" I try to speak, but I feel his finger press against my lips. I close my eyes again, willing him away from me.

"You could do so much better, Aria. So much better." Jonah tells me, and I gather the courage to push him away, his body heat finally leaving mine. I wipe my lips and turn away from him, walking away. I feel his grip on my arms and then then I'm being spun around, forced to face him again. He glares at me.

"I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you, Aria. Don't fucking walk away from me."

Normal? This conversation is the complete opposite of normal. The fact that this is normal to Jonah creeps me out even more than I already am. I just need to get away from him, then I think my heart will calm down. I feel the urge to cry, but I won't. Not in front of him. I blink away the tears just as Jonah opens his mouth again.

"I need you to listen, okay?" He says, his grip tightening on my arm. I wince slightly. "Help me make sense of it, Aria. Why- how does Jacob manage to get you to fall for him? How is it possible?"

"Because he's a great guy, Jonah." I say, frowning at him. "Something that you will never understand, and something that you will never have the pleasure of feeling." Jonah's eyes widen before he begins to laugh.

"Oh!" He laughs, running his spare hand over his face. "Oh, where's that crippling anxiety dissapeared off to, Aria?"

"It's here." I tell him. "It's still here. I've just stopped it from controlling me for one Goddamn minute so I can tell you that you-" I rip my arm away from his grip and take a step away from him. "You're a fucking arsehole, Jonah. I don't know why you're suddenly obsessed with me, but you better get over it because I don't have time for your bullshit. I have my own life to deal with."

Jonah is silent. I turn away and rush down the hallway, past a few scattering students, and into the girls' bathroom. Locking myself into a stall and rest my head on the door. Close my eyes, I let myself cry.

Everything over the past few days has been overwhelming me to the point where I can feel it pushing me over the edge. I've been told to stay strong and keep fighting; but people don't understand... I've already lost the fight. Right now, I'm merely just existing. Not living, just existing.

Jacob told me he loved me and I know I don't feel the same way. Jonah is threatening me in some way. College is burying me in work and projects and essays and I'm not sure I have enough will left in me to carry on. And the worst part is, I can't tell anyone. THey're all too happy to deal with my problems.

My body shakes from the tears and I place my hand over my mouth to stop any noise from escaping. I'm tired. So, very tired.

I move away from the toilet door when I hear voice from outside. A girl laughs, and someone joins her. The voices blend into the background, and I wonder. No one has ever made me laugh like that. Maybe if I met that person, I'd still want to be here. Maybe I've already met that person. Maybe I'm too scared to admit my feelings because it means that someone has to share the burden of them on their shoulders. My problems are my problems. And, I'm not sure I want to share them with anyone else.

It's always one step forward and three step back.

Fuck you, Jonah. Complete and utter weirdo.

Anyways, I'll possibly release a new chapter next wednesday. Depends. You've got to give it to me, I've consistently posted for three weeks. That's an achievement for me.

Aria's outfit because Wattpad is being a dick:

-H