"Fuck." He whispers into my neck, sending a thrill of excitement through my body.
His lips still smothered kisses over my neck and his hands roamed my body, starting at my chest, going down to my stomach. Caressing my soft skin, his thumb trailed c...
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I enter my house, closing the door behind me. Leaning against it, I close my eyes and rub my hands over my face.
That was not how I expected the day to go. Hell, I didn't even think Jacob would ever talk to me again. But instead, we sorted our shit out and now... I don't know.
I don't know what this means for us, for our future. And everything else.
But, that didn't matter. I'm living in the now.
This is going to backfire. No it isn't. Yes, it is. Everything is going to be okay. You're going to hurt him even more. I'm not going to hurt him. You're stupid. You're stupid, childish, idiotic, naïve-
"Shut up." I whisper, pressing my palms to the sides of my head. "Shut up." But it won't. The words keep repeating themselves in my head.
My knees buckle and I almost fall to the ground, but I hold myself up, leaning on the wall for support. But the words- repeating and repeating and repeating.
I trying to stop it- nothing's working- my head hurts- my chest aches- my skin feels clammy- I can't breathe- I can't breathe-
Oh, God. I'm having an anxiety attack.
"Aria?" I hear my name in the distant, but I don't process it. All I can focus on is the furious beating of my own heart.
"One... two..." My voice won't work. My mind- my heart- "Three- f-four..."
"Aria!" Someone yells again, and then they're leaning in front of me. Warm hands on my cheek. My forehead is pressed against soft material.
Mum. "Oh, baby." She whispers. Lips on my temple. "Carry on counting, sweetie." I oblige.
"Five." I breathe. "S-six... seven..." My heart calms down. My breathing slows. The dull ache in my chest bubbles down to a small beat. I'm breathing again. "Eight. Nine... ten."
"Good." I hear my mum whisper into my hair. "Good, you did great. Are you okay, now?"
I try to nod my head. The movement is too much.
"Come on, Aria. Let's get you to bed, okay?" She says, standing up and lifting my up. I lean on her for comfort. "What happened? Did something trigger it?"
I'm quiet.
***
After that, I stay in bed all day. I end up getting a fever, and missing a day of college. Mum came to my room once, asking if I was hungry.
I couldn't speak. I don't know why.
I hear a knock on my door. Slowly, it opens and dad's head peaks through. "How're you feeling?" He asks.
I shake my head.
"Umm... Your friend is here to see you." I lift my head when he says that, and my breath is knocked out of my chest when I see Jacob standing behind him. I still.
Jacob walks in and dad closes the door as he leaves. A bowl of soup was in Jacob's hand, and a spoon in the other. "I brought you soup. My mum made it for Aiden." He says, perking on the edge of the bed.
He places the soup on the bedside table and reaches out, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. He smiles and caresses my cheek.
"How are you feeling?" He asks the same question my dad asked me a minute ago.
"Like shit." I croak, coughing a little. I frown and sit up, my hair a spiking up all over the place. "How'd you know I was ill?"
"Laura came over. You're parents told her. She told me."
Oh, shit. The project. I groan. "We had a project to finish. I totally forgot."
Jacob chuckles. "It's okay. I'm sure she'll survive on her own."
Then, we're both quiet. Jacob picks up the bowl of soup again. "Come on," He says. "You need to eat."
I shake my head. "I'm not hungry."
"Aria." He says, sternly. "You'll only get better if you eat." Then, he fills the spoon with the liquid and holds it out to me.
I look at him. He says, "Aria." Instead of complaining, I open my mouth.
After I finished most of the soup and taken my medication, Jacob lays me back into my bed, and caresses my hair until I'm asleep.
***
When I wake up, Jacob is passed out beside me. Sitting up, I realise that I'm feeling much better.
I should probably brush my teeth. And take a shower.
Quietly, I slip out of bed and into the en suite bathroom. Locking the door behind me, I quickly strip and slip into the shower, rinsing off my body.
I'm fully aware of the sleeping boy in my room and my heart is beating out of my chest.
I'm hoping that I can quickly put some clothes on before Jacob sees. But my body freezes freezes when I open the door and see Jacob sitting up on my bed, scrolling through his phone.
He looks up, his eyes roaming all over my body. Slowly, he stands up, rubbing his hands on his thighs.
"Are you feeling better?" He asks, walking towards me. Oh, God. I kind of hoped that he would stay seated. I guess not.
"Yeah. I'm much better. Thank you." I say, crossing my arms over my chest and covering my scars.
"Good." Then, he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me in for a hug. My forehead rests against his chest.
Home, I think. This is home.
"I'm sorry," He whispers, kissing the top of my head.
"For what?" I mumble.
"For what happened in my car. I know you said you wanted this, but if it's too much for you, then that's okay. I'll wait until you're ready."
I shake my head. "I'm ready."
Jacob runs his fingers through my wet, dark hair. "Okay." He whispers. "Just know... I'm here for you, no matter what."
I lift my head up to look at him. His brown eyes shone with... something, as he looked down at me.
"Thank you."
He presses his lips to my forehead. Then, he says, "I've got to go. I've got football training and I'm already a few minutes late."
"Yeah. You should probably get going." I laugh, moving away from him. I put my hands behind my back, and look up at him. Jacob smiles, places a small kiss on my lips and then, he turns around and leaves.
