Blooded Mate

Chapter 84 - Dark Past

Jan stared at the handsome face, so innocent and peaceful in slumber. Ethan's bare chest rose and fell as his gentle snores filled the room.

Lifting a hand, Jan brushed away a soft dark curl that had fallen on the smooth forehead.

The sleepy wolf mumbled incoherently and reached for him. Thick arms wrapped around him and drew him closer till their bodies touched, and a muscled thigh wedged between his slender legs. Then, Ethan's breath evened out again as he sank deeper into sleep.

Jan smiled, leaning in to soak up more of the wolf's warmth. But under the veneer of joy, his heart ached.

Though Ethan had held his hand earlier and insisted on joining him in bed, this was the first time they had embraced since dinner. And it hurt that he only reached out to him when sleep dulled his wits.

I'm overreacting. He's probably just distracted by the news from his pack.

But even that reassurance sounded hollow to Jan.

Ethan had been excited to see him when they got to the restaurant, eagerly jumping up to grab a chair for him. The young Lycan had only withdrawn into himself after Lorr explained the blood ceremonies. And by the end of dinner, he could barely meet Jan's eye.

Louie had also grown fidgety during the conversation. It touched on a dark period of Jan's life that he liked to avoid. But Louie was .... Louie. And as soon as the discussion moved on, he was back to his usual self.

In contrast, Ethan had not. And each time the hazel eyes evaded his, it felt like someone was raking nails over Jan's heart.

He's ashamed of my past. Why else would he pull away after everything we've been through?

A dull ache thudded in his chest, and he took a deep breath, trying to tamp it down.

Jan did not regret his past actions. They were tough choices, but it had to be done. And if he were to go back in time, he would probably make the same decisions again. He only wished he had stopped the conversation earlier on. Maybe then, he could have enjoyed the sweet moment with Ethan a little more before the night turned sour.

Honestly, he did not blame Lorr. She had not explicitly brought up his past. Neither had she mentioned the final transformation for a vampire: the Third Blood Ceremony. It was the ultimate act of betrayal among vampires and forbidden by most, yet, all revered the results.

It had earned him the title of Blooded Warrior on the third evening after his change from Dhampir to a vampire. Contrary to Lorr's words, Jan had never given his parent the option to recover after creating him.

His thoughts flashed back to that moonless night nearly three centuries ago...

Hair unbound and feet bare, Jan stood on the parapet of his sire's manor, watching the long line of armed men on horses snaking through the forest. Yet again, Ivan was riding off to deal with another enraged enemy their arrogant sire had provoked.

A cool breeze danced around Jan's pale, sweat-drenched skin as the trees swallowed the flickering torches of his brother's army. He shivered, pulling the ruffled collar of his linen shirt tighter around his neck. But this simple move tortured his battered muscles and aching bones.

It was not the worst state he had been in, but his brother had adamantly refused to take him along.

"I'm proud that you're now a full vampire, Jan, but it's too soon," Ivan had argued. "Your body is still weak from the transformation. You must rest; give it time to heal. Besides, I need you to stay and guard our home."

It struck Jan as odd that his brother had said 'home' instead of worrying about Olav, the patriarch of their family. But there was no time to ponder deeply on that. As the last of the torches vanished into the forest, so did all other random thoughts.