Change of hearts (EDITING)

Chapter 34

5months later.

Ruqayyah's P.O.V

I've tried.

I've tried so many times to get him out of my head but wretchedly failed. It was hard, very hard more than i ever thought. He was literally everywhere. Everyday, i think of him. I even dreamed of him. I was dying inside. I wanted to be strong and just forget about him but it was easier said than done. Everybody pitied me, they looked at me like one broken girl. I couldn't understand my feelings.

Hajia mama would sometimes come and tell me some of her childhood stories just to give me company so i could feel better, knowing i was always interested in them but Instead i would end up crying. She would console, rant, preach, vociferate and console again until my chintzy and useless tears stopped. It went on and on to the extent that people stopped talking about him anymore around me.

It was one Thursday, Me and Yasmeen were coming out of a lecture hall when we decided to have lunch in the school cafeteria before we leave.

"I love those maiduguri Dhukkhans, wallahi they're so nice" Yasmeen was telling me on our way to the cafeteria "They smell really good, how i wish faruq is from there, i would love to have one of those maiduguri traditional weddings, they're absolutely terrific, even ya al amin...." She stopped once his name slipped out of her mouth making me frown a little.

"Sorry.. I shouldn't have said that.. I mean I shouldn't have brought him up, ruqayyah I'm really sorry" She had apologized with a sympathetic look on her face.

"Why? He's your brother, you can talk about him every time your heart pleases" I tried to sound normal but the tears that were welling up in my eyes were deceiving me. I had realized my tears were the cheapest thing ever. They came without warning.

She had only nodded, clearly didn't want to divulge further into the topic. A sister didn't want to talk about her own blood brother around his pathetic ex-fiancee. Who exactly did that?

It pained me a lot. So, from that day i always inquired after him not because i really cared but just for them to stop feeling sorry for me, to stop giving me that annoying sympathetic look that made me hate myself more for being a loser.

One thing that I still didn't understand was. This guy still called me. He still texted me, apologizing, which was of no use. Did he expect me to tell him that it was okay and we should tell our parents to get us married now because all the problems between us have been solved and we're now finally in love with each other? My eye!