Patsy (the victim)

51

2 months after divorce regardless how zahra'u hate him Bilal find himself still thinking about her, it takes a lot of pleading from his dad before zahra'u agreed to let him be a part of mama's life, zahra'u only allow him to see the little girl once in a week, it's not something Bilal wants but have to deal with, he heard from sadiq that zahra'u is marrying bashir immediately after her iddah, the information makes him sick to his stomach because he still care deeply about zahra'u.

The Blaring of his ringing phone is what drift his attention from the television screen, it's Saturday afternoon he do love to see mama but zahra'u only allow him to see the girl on Monday morning when he usually drop her off at school it's not even enough time to see the little girl, but what can he do?
When zahra'u is the one that can decide what's good for mama.

He grab the phone from the couch and is surprise to see zahra'u name on the screen, with alot of curiosity he swipe the phone screen and press it to his ear.

***************

"I'm not been selfish Bashir,
You barely have time for neither me or my daughter,
Did you even love me or you just want to use me as everyone does."zahra'u say really upset.

For the past one month he relationship with bashir is gradually crumbling and she's starting to question if leaving Bilal is the righ decision, if anything Bilal treat her like a queen, bashir seems to be more concerned about his unborn child, he barely even spend time with mama, the fact that mama is always throwing tantrums about seeing her dad doesn't help to quench the frustration in zahra'u.

"Zahra'u,
I come here almost everyday,
We aren't married yet so i can spend that much time that you are requesting, Aliya is pregnant and this first trimester isn't treating her very well, what else do you want me to do?
You are been inconsiderate this days and i don't like it."bashir say and zahra'u bite the inside of her tongue to the point she can feel the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

"It's fine."is the only word she could find,
She feel as do bashir doesn't love her anymore that strong connection they both have gradually fading and it really upset her.

"Zahr.......

"It's fine Bashir,
I mean what was i even thinking?
That you will leave your healthy wife and unborn child for someone like me?
A liability that's what everyone will Always see me and my daughter as,
I...........m

"Zahra'u why do you keep bringing this conversation up?
We've talked about this time without number, I love you OK,
I don't know what language i will Ex....
..

"I want my old B back!"
You are not same person I fall in love with Bashir,
You used to be soo close with my daughter,
You used to show that concern and affection in your eyes but........

"Zahra'u you know very well what you are saying isn't true,
Mama and i drift apart because she always want to be with her dad, can't you see the little girl is depressed, she's barely active and always sulking,
I think........

"Really!
I can't believe you are saying all this to me.
Did you even still love me or are you just trying to convince yourself that the feeling we shared is still there."zahra'u say and literally breakdown.

The emotions is just too much for her to handle, bashir family clearly hate her last two weeks they barge into the house and say all sort of sensitive words to her that makes her cry for more than two days.

"How am i even sure that this relationship will ever work,
That we will ever be happy,
Why do you even love me B?
Have you ever thought of us having children and family, it's impossible the last thing i want is you getting that disease all in the name of love. "Zahra'u say crying and bashir release a heavy breathe of exhaustion, he went grab her by the arm and engulf her into am intense hug that makes her cry even more.

"It's going to be fine zahra."bashir say with a heavy breathe as he glance at the wall clock, he really do love the but he just want her to understand that things aren't going to be that easy for them especially with Aliyah pregnancy and how everyone is against the marriage, tenderly grabbing her by the face and kiss her on the forehead.

There's just something about zahra'u that makes him find peace, is it her innocence or the fact that she is untainted and naive about the world today, he want to shower her with all the happiness he can in this world but there are times that he question himself if she is truly the one especially now that he is starting to have his own family, he might not love Aliya but he dearly love that tiny fetus growing inside of her.

"B."zahra'u call gaining his attention as she step back.

"Do you really want to be with me?"zahra'u ask the question that has been giving her sleepless night.

Bashir stare at zahra'u, he do want to spend every day of his life with her but then he feel as do the love he have is not enough to give her that happiness,
As zahra'u stare into bashir eyes she knows what his silence means, she won't say she regret loving bashir neither will she say she regret leaving Bilal because at the end it won't make any difference, she smile weakly at bashir and he avert his gaze from her.

"I have to go now."he say and zahra'u nod, she watch as he reluctantly grab his car key from the couch trying very hard not to look up at her, zahra'u wait until he leave the parlour and hears the gate closes before she breakdown.

She cry so loud as if the roaring thunder on the sky can hear her, she cry not because of the decision she makes or because Bashir is questioning his love for her, she cry because she knows just like she couldn't find happiness so will be he r daughter, because no matter how hard everyone try to love a victim at the end that doubt will always be in there heart, that afternoon as the angry cloud begin to mold into a dense black cloud, zahra'u make a decision, a decision that will not hurt only her but very single person that care about her, with a trembling hand she grab her phone and dial the number that always break her apart each time she sees it.

All of you insulting my baby girl should take your time fah, she's been through alot, only she can understand the pain she's going through, forgiveness is not enough to make her forget her past and seeing Bilal everyday will never make her heal.

Drop your comments and votes.

I love you all.