Patsy (the victim)

53

Leaving was the only option for zahra'u, she hate that it's the only decision she could come up with. If she can she will take her own life because that way she won't have to experience anymore pain, she's been through alot and she's at a point in life where she doesn't want anything, all she want is peace and she believe she can never have that in this world,
Leaving mama is a decision she knows will brutally affect her emotionally but she believe mama is better off with Bilal, regardless his past he's an amazing dad and mama will have the best of everything, from education to life in general which is something she never had while growing up, even when she left that evening she doesn't have a single idea where she's heading to at the park the only available car was the one to Lagos it's unfortunate but zahra'u knows that is her destination, they loaded into the car and they barely make it out of minna city when the traumatizing incident that have her laying lifeless on the hospital bed occur, at that instant all zahra'u pray for is she never make it, she wanted to burn with some of the victims in the vehicle but somehow she was saved once again she find herself , awake in the bitter world she wanted to leave.

"Zahra'u how are you feeling?"sadiq ask and all she does is stare, she doesn't care ifs he can she will tell him to let her be but her mouth feel heavy.

"Bilal is on his way,
You need an urgent blood transfer and he will be a good donor because he's a universal donor,
Right."sadiq say gently brushing off her forehead with a look of concern as the hospital room barge own and a confuse looking Bilal rush in.

"Zahra'u."Bilal say dropping the little girl on the floor as he kneel next to the bed grabbing zahra'u hand.

He has never in his entire life been so afraid like today, he was scared, scared of losing zahra'u even do he knows she doesn't want to be with him, he was scared of been alone, scared that if anything happen to zahra'u he would go back to his old self leaving there daughter on her own, he was scared that the only person who genuinely care about him at his worst, who remove him from the dark and painful world he's been living will be no more, holding zahra'u hand and having to see her wide awake is like the most relief thing on planet.

"Bilal she will need a blood, she lost alot of blood."sadiq say with a sigh and bilal nod staring at zahra'u who's staring at him, her emotions is neutral he always find it difficult to read her emotions.

"Yes please."he say standing up and let go zahra'u hand as he pick mama up.

"Are we leaving her alone?"Bilal ask confused and sadiq sigh.

"She is fine amd stable Bilal,
We don't have much time."sadiq say and bilal glance at her before exiting the hospital room with there daughter.

******************

2days later

For the next two days Bilal hasn't leave the hospital, he's been the one taking care of the even do he knows it's not something she's not happy about.

"Zahra'u."Bilal call and she just stare at him, that's all she does it scared Bilal, zahra'u hasn't say a single word since she's been recovering.

"Can you please say something?
You are making everyone worried,
I know that i......

"Bilal please."zahra'u say tiredly.
Why can't you just go find happiness?
Can't you see?
You and i are like two broken glass no matter how hard you try to fix it, it can't never go back to it old self,
Do you know what i want?"zahra'u say and bilal shake his head.

"I just want to sleep and never wake up, every step of my life is like a hot stone of pain, the only difference is that the next step i take always hurt more than the previous."zahra'u say and bilal shake his head.

"Zahra'u."Bilal call and stare at her.

"Happiness is a choice,
If you keep reminding yourself of your past you will always be hurting yourself,
I don't know much about your past zahra'u but......... Bilal sigh shake his head with a painful smile and look up at her.

"If i will back at my past i will never move on,
You had a good relationship with your mum until she passed away,
What about me zahra'u?
All i did was make my mum cry,
She was a good mum, her only mistake was loving me so much but what did i do?
I was a thief, a drunkard, an addict, a rapist and any other sick things that every mother will never be proud of but she never stops loving me, she always go to the police station ignoring all the insult and bail me out without caring the fact that i will repeat same thing tomorrow,
Now that I'm ready to take responsibility she's no more, my mum passed away zahra'u, I went to Cameroon two weeks ago and they told me she died, but you know the most painful part of everything?
That regardless the pain i have caused her even on her sick bed i was her last word, I don't want that for mama,
I don't want to think about my past or whatever it is that i did ?
I want to be happy and learn from my past,
Give me a chance zahra'u,
We may not be a perfect couple but.....
We have mama and that's all that matters."Bilal say and zahra'u just stare at him.

"Bilal i can't give you that happiness you are searching for."zahra'u say,
Even if she want to give Bilal a chance she can't because they are two different people.

"Why zahra'u?
I don't want to believe that just because you have AIDs is the excuse,
My daughter also have AIDs, look at her."Bilal say pointing at mama who's playing with the door handle.
"Yet She's happy,
Give yourself a chance to be happy zahra'u, you've been through alot,
I'm not saying i will be a perfect husband but......
I love you zahra'u, I really do."Bilal say and zahra'u avert her gaze to the clouded window releasing a deep breathe of exhaustion.