The Leper King's Healer

Chapter 63

Philippa's POV:

As I drifted into sleep beside Baldwin, the tranquility of the afternoon enveloped us, despite the distant sounds of horses' hooves and armor clanking outside our tent. It was a rare moment of peace amidst the chaos of our world. When I finally stirred awake, the warmth of the sunlight streaming through the fabric of our shelter greeted me, but Baldwin was nowhere to be seen.

Panic seized me momentarily as I scanned every corner of the tent, searching desperately for any sign of him. " Where could he have gone? " My heart raced with worry until, just as suddenly as he had disappeared, Baldwin reappeared at the entrance. His customary silver iron mask was absent, replaced instead by a swath of bandages covering much of his face.

"My queen, you're awake," his voice carried a comforting tone as he stepped into the tent, his smile radiating warmth despite the uncertainty that clouded my mind. Relief flooded through me at the sight of him.

"Are you all right?!" "I rushed to him, feeling his forehead. Do you still have a fever?" How is your wound? I panicked and said, "You shouldn't be out of bed."

Baldwin gently grabbed my wrist and held my hands, saying, "I am fine. Omar checked on me earlier and my fever was gone. I didn't wake you up because you were tired." He smiled warmly.

I embarrassedly let go of his hand. "Were you looking for me? "He inquired kindly.

"Yes... I was looking for you, but you were not here..." I replied, my voice tinged with embarrassment at my earlier panic.

Baldwin's gentle smile remained unwavering as he listened to my words. "Ah, I see," he responded softly, his eyes reflecting understanding. "I had a discussion with Aimery and the other knights about our return to Jerusalem."

His words lingered in the air, weighted with significance. Jerusalem—our home. The mention of our return stirred a mixture of emotions within me. Excitement warred with apprehension, hope mingled with uncertainty.

"And what did they say?" I inquired

Baldwin's expression softened, his gaze meeting mine with unwavering resolve. "They are ready as soon as I gave the order"

"That's good to hear " I said as I glanced at him.

Between Baldwin and I, there lingered an awkward silence—a palpable tension that had persisted for nearly a year. In the absence of physical proximity, Our only means of connection had been through the exchange of letters, each missive a lifeline tethering us to one another across the vast expanse of distance. And now, with Baldwin standing before me in the flesh, I found myself at a loss for words.

As I stood here, grappling with the weight of unspoken sentiments, a myriad of thoughts swirled through my mind like leaves caught in a whirlwind. There were so many things I wanted to express to Baldwin—words of affection, gratitude, and longing—but they remained trapped behind a barrier of uncertainty, refusing to take flight.

Unable to meet Baldwin's gaze, Philippa cast her eyes downward, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment at her own reticence. She felt a pang of disappointment in herself, lamenting her failure to embody the grace and poise expected of a lady and queen.

In that vulnerable moment, Philippa couldn't help but wonder what Baldwin thought of her now. Would he see her as she truly was—a flawed and imperfect being, struggling to reconcile her public persona with the complexities of her innermost self? Or would he view her through a lens distorted by his own preconceptions, seeing her as something other than she was—a beast, perhaps, driven by primal instincts and untamed desire?