The Mistress

XXXIII

         *Matilda*

My hangover lasted for a couple of days more and every time I lie down to sleep... I'm reminded of my awful experience at the bar

Dancing on pool table and rubbing myself on some old bearded bikers and gang members

I used pills to sleep and relive my incessant headache but am constantly reminded by my heart that there's a hole in it

I was able to return back to work a few days later and try to put on my best smile...... I should thank Eleanor for not giving Stacy enough chat time. Coz I know she would have bombarded me with her questions

Every morning I have to drag my unhappy self to work and act like everything is cool. But that's the biggest lie of the century
I am still pinning and thinking of him
I just can't stop

I branched at jack's to get coffee
He was wearing his usual grin that doesn't flatter me anymore..

I leaned on the counter as I watched him serve the coffee

"Heyyy uhhh.... Matilda, do you think you'd be free to go to a live concert with me"

Is sexy Jack the barista asking me out....
That's an improvement
have noticed that he has been drooling over me for a while now; I just didn't realize he'd actually ask me himself....

Couple of months ago
I'd kill to just go out and have fun with Jack... He was my spec and I kinda just like flirting with me that I never actually thought... He'd be into me like that

I want to say yes..... But I'd be fooling myself; I know I don't feel anything for jack... Not anymore... Or not in that way

Felix just had to mess me up for the other cute guys too that am willing to throw this offer under the bus just because am still drooling over him

But I also have the right to be happy
I haven't gone anywhere in days... All I do is sit in my condo and sulk all day and still drown in my heavy thoughts

"Okay.... Jack "
I said eventually and then some chick showed up walking right in front of me

"Babe..... Who's this?"

I stared at jack who looked puzzled for a minute and back to the girl whose hair is everywhere

"Ermmm this is Matilda"

"I don't give a shit what she bears"

"Chill...... Gisela, she's a friend"

"Am just his customer.... "
I said nicely and collected my order and walked out of his cafe
Even Jack found himself some hairy bear in form of human
Aren't I just so lucky

The last thing I want now is drag or share anyone with anybody

Maybe I'm destined to be alone
who knows

I had little or nothing to do at work
Is like my brain is blank.. I can't think or come up with anything sensible
I come up with a concept of art and then i start sketching... And then it looks like a heap of rubbish I scrap it out... Start over again and still the same thing

This is really taking a toll on me
my whole life lost focus since Friday
I am not just unhappy, I am sad and lonely

Before the end of the day I got a call from Becca asking me to meet up for dinner
I was finally excited that I was not going back to that apartment

After I sign out at work... I took a cab and head to the restaurant... Becca asked me to meet her

I wasn't wearing anything special
Truth is... I haven't been paying so much attention to my appearance lately