The Mistress

XLVIII

             *Matilda*

Everything just stops making sense
No matter how much I try I just don't understand what's going on in my head..

I sat by the window in the guest room becca put me in......
I stared blankly through.... I have been sitting here since I got here at almost midnight and now am still there watching time fly

Penelope was getting in her car heading to work I guess.... Becca was seeing her off
I could hear them faintly because the window was opened

"Are You sure you don't have to go to work "
Penelope asked

"No... Its fine, I will call and tell them am indisposed... You know I can't leave her like that "

"Is she going to be.. Ok"

"I'll see to that, don't worry about it... Just get going.. You don't wanna be late "

Becca kissed her and help her get into her car

, "drive safe.... I love you, "

"I love you too"
Penelope seemed pretty confident saying those words every time

I love you.. Those three words sounds like a confirmation to a daring question.. When you say it back it like you are assuring that person  that you are really engrossed in it but most times people say it because they can
I have never been more certain about my feelings until I was saying them to Felix and it went into thin air like it was nothing

It was never my intention to make anyone worry about me.
I don't ever want my problem and ill luck to be another person's burden especially Becca...

I need to leave.... I can't stay here forever and even let her miss work because of me and my stupidity

The door fling opened and becca walked in with a tray filled with fruits a tea jug and cup with bread

"Heyyyy.... Its a good thing. You are awake.. I made breakfast "

I smiled faintly

"Thanks.... I appreciate "

I stare at the tray and try to act like am hungry

"You are not going to eat this.. Are you "

"Uhhhm I'm not really hungry but it does look yummy though... Thanks for  the effort and taking me in... I'm so sorry for putting you through the trouble "

"Trouble..... You have no idea how much have missed you .. Although I wasn't expecting you to show up at my door like that "

I bow my head slightly

"No... Its okay. You don't have to feel bad, remember I was your roomie for three years so I have seen you at your terrible times but never like this though "

Of course.... You only get this heartbroken once..
I don't think anyone can afford to get struck by this kind of experience twice they might just not survive

"It's OK... If you don't want to talk about it now... No rush,  "

"Thanks for everything.... I owe you alot Becca. but I have to leave, "

"What... But where would you go, You are no longer Mrs Beckinsale tenant remember "

She probably figured out I can't return to the condo so I can't use that as an excuse

"I will have to go back to my NAna's"

I can't go back to my nana.. But I don't exactly have any choice