My second chance to love! [YiZhan FanFiction] ✔️

~2~ hard blow

~2~ hard blow

While I was still in my fourth year of the university, Seo Joon proposed to me and I accepted. Seo Joon invited his parents to come and visit us. They came specially from Seoul and even my parents came. We went to a fancy restaurant and Seo Joon knelt down in front of me, he held my hands and said, "Xiao Zhan, from the first moment I saw you, I was in love with you and knew that I didn't want anyone else at my side but you for the rest of my life. You are a wonderful, beautiful and amazing man and my whole life. I don't want to spend another day without you. I love you more than anything, my love. Will you marry me?"

We got married only two months later in Paris. Of course Hae Jin was there and also Guo Zifan, whom I met in my fourth year at university.

I can't describe how happy I was. I was just looking forward to spending the rest of our lives together with Seo Joon.

But who would have thought that the rest of Seo Joon's life would come so soon after the wedding?

On my last day at university, I waited for Seo Joon to come pick me up as usual. Hae Jin had been in South Korea visiting his family. But even after more than an hour, Seo Joon didn't arrive.

I kept trying to reach him by phone, but only the voicemail had been answered. So I slowly walked home and waited for him there. I thought maybe he had to work late and his phone battery ran out. Or maybe he was otherwise held up.

But then I got a call from a hospital. They told me that my husband had been hospitalized with serious injuries. Apparently a truck went out of control and crashed into Seo Joon's car.

I took a taxi to the hospital and found my severely injured husband in a room full of beeping machines. The doctor told me that they can't operate on him yet because his vitals are so bad. And he also said that an operation would only end his life faster.

All I could do was stand by my dying husband's bed, hold his hand and cry. He only regained consciousness for a moment. He looked at me and cried, he whispered: "I loved you from the first moment I saw you and I never stopped loving you. I am sorry that I cannot stay with you any longer. I still wanted so much more with you. I can't believe we only had four years." I cried bitterly and then he closed his eyes and his heart stopped beating.

The moment his heart stopped beating, he collapsed unconscious by his bed. My whole purpose in life lay before me in this bed. His heart, which I had listened to beating every night until I fell asleep, stopped beating. I was paralyzed.

We were finally going to go on our honeymoon, we wanted to grow old and grey together. We had made plans for the future.

After his cremation and the funeral service, I withdrew from everything. I even tried to end my own life twice, because I couldn't and wouldn't live without Seo Joon.

I felt like I couldn't breathe without him. How could I live in a world where Seo Joon was no more? I had no appetite and just lay in my bed and cried.

No one could reach me anymore. Not my family, not my in-laws, not Hae Jin. I didn't want to see or hear anyone I just wanted to be alone and mourn.

After four months, Hae Jin took me to a specialist. I started a therapy, I attended a grief group, but none of this helped. I still wanted to be with Seo Joon.

I was so tired, tired of grieving, crying and living. With Seo Joon I lost my purpose in life, my center of life, and that only shortly after our marriage. After we swore in Paris to grow old and gray together.

Suddenly I was the old Zhan again, the anxious and worried Zhan who couldn't laugh. The Zhan who withdrew into his shell and spoke to no one. And when Hae Jin also went back to South Korea, I was alone again.

I looked for a small one-room apartment and a job that would keep me afloat. Actually, you could say I wasn't living, I was just functioning. But nothing more.

Two years after Seo Joon's death I felt better. Every now and then I met with Guo Zifan and I finally found a new job. On Monday morning I was supposed to start, I would start as a graphic designer in a company.

On Sunday I visited the grave of Seo Joon and talked to him. I asked him to wish me luck and I promised to tell him everything about my first day in my new job.

Happy about my new job, I went to work on Monday morning and was immediately greeted by my new supervisor He Peng. A very unfriendly guy who immediately wanted to label me a good-for-nothing.

And it became clear to me that with this man I will often get into trouble. Already on the first day, he was blaming me. Nothing I could do right in his eyes. Even though my colleague Gu Jiacheng and his brother Wu said to He Peng that I had done it right and it was all flawless when I presented my first work.

During the lunch break, the two told me that He Peng was only angry because they hired me and not his cousin. And they advised me to be careful, because He Peng would certainly come up with some ideas to make my life difficult.

And he did. He made my life at work a living hell. Every day he scolded me and by scolding me, I mean he yelled at me. And in front of all the other employees.

He made me work overtime and do graphics by myself. He demanded that I leave my work to him and then he presented it as his own. And because I was the old Zhan again, I didn't fight back. I ducked my head and just gave in to it.

I had already worked in the company for a month and hadn't told anyone about Seo Joon. Anyway, I hardly talked to the two Jiacheng brothers, and if I did, it was only to them superficially.

It was again a Monday morning when I went to work with a stomach ache and asked myself what mean things He Peng had thought up for me?

The week before, he had my desk placed right next to it under the air conditioning, and he set it to 18°C. So I was freezing all the time while I tried to do my work according to his demands.

I arrived at the office at eight o'clock in the morning, sat down at my desk, turned on the computer and then it was time for He Peng to perform.

He Peng stood in the middle of the open office and addressed all the employees. "Good morning. We are starting into the new week and I must say that on Friday, after everyone had left, I walked past your desks and marveled at the many pictures of your loved ones. Only one desk didn't have a picture, and you would think that this person in particular should have a picture. Or Xiao Zhan? I mean, how long has your husband been dead? 2 years? You still wear the ring, but you don't even have a picture of him here? Are you embarrassed that you're gay and your husband is dead? Did he maybe take his own life because he couldn't stand you anymore?"

I burst into tears and would have loved to run out. But suddenly someone shouted " He Peng, in my office now!"