My second chance to love! [YiZhan FanFiction] ✔️

~15~ Just one day

~15~ Just one day

When I arrived at my apartment, I went to the closet, took out Seo Joon's cardigan and pressed it firmly against me. I looked at his picture and tried to remember how his voice sounded. How his touches felt and how his heart sounded when it was still beating.

Every night I lay with my head on Seo Joon's chest and listened to the rhythmic beating of his heart until I fell asleep and he stroked my head. He ran his fingers through my hair and with his other hand, he held me tight.

I remembered how he once said to me, "I hope we'll still fall asleep in 50 years as we do today." Well, unfortunately, in 50 years, he and I won't fall asleep like that. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to fall asleep like that in over two years.

With the cardigan in my arms, I lie down on the bed and look at a picture of Seo Joon. I remembered the day I shot it. One of many pictures that day. On a day when we were just happy and spent time together without worries after he was finally through with his exams.

Since his death I often wished I could spend another day with him. Just one day, I would be happy with that already. To be able to see him again, to take him in my arms, to feel his warmth. Hear his voice and his laughter and hear him say that he loves me. I would be able to say goodbye to him and to tell him once more that I love him and miss him.

And I could have asked him if it is okay for me to fall in love again. We never talked about what would happen if one of us died. Would he want me to love again? Or would he want me to be faithful? I can guess the answer, but it would be nice if I could have heard it out of his mouth just once.

I miss talking to him so much. Just lying side by side talking about all sorts of things, both trivial and important. To be able to laugh with him and see the little wrinkles forming on his eyes when he smiles. To hear him sing in the shower or make kimchi with him while drinking a bottle of soju, or two.

When we made Kimchi for the first time, we drank three bottles of Soju together while it was raining and storming outside. Later that night there was a power outage and we sat in our room by candlelight, he held me in his arms and we talked about everything that came into our minds until we fell asleep.

My cell phone vibrated and without looking at the caller ID, I took the call and a completely out of breath sounding Yibo yelled: "Damn Zhan, where are you? I've been looking for you everywhere. Where are you?"

"I'm at my place. I'm not coming back tonight, I need this night to myself in my home."

"ZhanZhan, please don't do this. I'll pick you up, OK?"

"Yibo, I just told you, I just need one night at my house. All I'm doing is lying in my bed. I'm tired and I'm going to sleep right now and I'll come back to you by Saturday at the latest."

"No please Zhan, don't do this to me. I told you, I don't want you leaving. And you ran away. You just left me behind. Why did you do that?"

"I'm so sorry Yibo, I didn't mean to. I just had to get out of there and just go home. Don't be angry and give me the time that I need for myself right now."