My second chance to love! [YiZhan FanFiction] ✔️

~38~ A few days for me

Many thanks for the numerous recovery wishes. I am finally feeling better and I am very grateful for all of you. Finally I can write again :D yeah

Slowly we are approaching the end and it's time for Zhan to learn about the truth very soon. But not in this chapter, and not in the next. I think the big revelation will be in chapter 40.

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~38~ A few days for me

In my memories of the day and evening yesterday, I was angry at Yibo and my in-laws. Angry that they left Jin Mi to me, angry that Yibo had no more time for me or us, angry that nobody really listened to me and believed me. This morning when I woke up, I was no longer angry I was disappointed but not angry. I dreamed about Seo Joon, we talked, went for a walk and I decided I wanted a few days just for myself.

I thought about my anger from the day before and now, with some distance and a long sleep, I could think more clearly. I shouldn't have just run away again and instead try to talk to Yibo again in peace. But since this realization came too late for me, I can only make the best of it now.

For now, this means I wash myself, get dressed and go shopping first. Because if I want to stay here for a few days, I should also have food at home. But before I go shopping, I will stop by the old bakery and have a strong coffee and a sandwich. And who knows, maybe the old baker from back then is still there.

To my great joy the nice baker was still there. The good woman must be approaching seventy by now and seems not to have aged a day since back then. It is probably because she has never seen her work as a burden or hard work, but as her great love.

She looked at me and her wrinkled face shone. Slowly she came out from behind the counter and reached out her hands to greet me. She looked behind me and asked me, "Oh, where's that handsome husband of yours?" She even remembered that. Although I last saw her when Seo Joon and I were married just three weeks before.

I kept trying to smile, but somehow it didn't seem to work out that way, because the old lady's look became more thoughtful. "Don't tell me you got divorced?"

"No, we didn't." I said that, shaking my head so hard that for a moment it went black before my eyes.

"Then you had a fight?"

"I wish it were that simple." I replied and the old lady pulled me to the table and gestured me to sit down. I didn't know if it was right, but I told her everything that happened since Seo Joon's and my last visit. And when she heard about my husband's death, she had tears in her eyes and kept shaking her head.

"Was it the truck driver's fault?" Did she want to know, I told her that it was a technical failure and the driver couldn't have done anything. Then I told her the rest of it, everything that happened until last night. I don't know why, but it just felt good to talk to her about it and just let it all out for once.

"I think your boyfriend really misses you right now. Yeah, he made a mistake. But who would believe that a little three-year-old girl with the face of an angel is vicious?"

"Yeah, I know. I've been thinking about that, too. Last night I was so angry because nobody listened to me and believed me. This morning I was ashamed to leave without a word."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, boy. It's the protective mechanism of your subconscious. With escape, your subconscious tries to protect you from possible injuries. As soon as you are with your boyfriend a little longer and you know him better and can assess him better, it will pass."

"How do you know such a thing?"

"I was a psychologist before I became a baker. I assume that the shock of your husband's sudden death still exists. You still haven't learned to let it go when you started opening your heart to your new boyfriend. But you're on a good path. But I would advise you to go back to therapy and continue. Otherwise your relationship won't last. Remember, everyone has their limits, even your new boyfriend. And from what you told me about your new boyfriend, he seems to love you very much and it will hurt him every time you shut him out and push him away."

"But I'm not pushing him away."

"Running away is also a way of pushing away. How do you think he feels right now?"

"I, um..."

"You're not doing it on purpose, but you're hurting him deeply right now. You should at least call him later to say where you are and that you're okay."

"I'll do that."

"And don't worry about the little one. Probably it has some physical or health reason why she's like this. Small children are helpless at that age and often can't express themselves otherwise. Your in-laws should have her examined. Maybe the cause can be found."

"I will tell them."

"You should also be aware that your in-laws do not only consider you as their son-in-law. You have become their son. More so, because one is useless and a danger to others and the other good son, died. They cling to you. You are their son now and that's how they treat you."

"Yes, I suspected something like that. Although I consider them as my parents too, even if my parents are still alive."

"And Hae Jin, you should tell that rascal that you are grateful for his friendship and concern, but he shouldn't overdo it." When she said that I had to laugh, because I remembered that she knows him too and that she hit him with a wooden spoon when he pulled me out of Seo Joon's embrace and said he wanted to be cuddled too.

Hae Jin is always fooling around a lot, but he also has another side. A side that is very serious and can be pretty hard. There is so much more hidden in him than you can see. I saw many sides to him, but the most beautiful one is the foolish side of him. Worst of all I find his hurt side, the side he rarely lets anyone see through. And when he does, then you suffer with him.

"Take a few days for yourself and then go home. Take your boyfriend in your arms, then by the hand and tell him you can do it together." Said the old baker to me as I said goodbye to her. I nodded and thanked her, then I left.

After shopping, I cooked a little something for myself, then took a two-hour nap and then went for a run. Since I have not done this for a long time and I miss it. I can switch off well and feel great afterwards.

When I came back from running, Yibo was standing in front of my door. He saw me, came running towards me, hugged me and told me that he was glad that I was doing well. Since I wanted to avoid drawing any attention to us, I took Yibo with me to my apartment.

He apologized several times and told me that my in-laws had taken Jin Mi to the pediatrician and that he suspected a hearing loss, which could be the reason for her behavior. Yibo also told me that my in-laws and Hae Jin blamed him and that he blamed himself as well.

It made me angry to hear that once again my in-laws and Hae Jin were taking out their frustration on Yibo and I swore to myself that I would seriously talk to them about it.

When Yibo asked me if I would come back home, I told him, "I want to have a few days for myself. I'm not angry with you anymore, but I'm still disappointed and have to take care of something as well. And as soon as I'm ready, I'll come back and we'll figure out together what to do about the two of us."

"What do you mean? Are you thinking about breaking up?"

"I'm not. I just want us to find a way to avoid problems in the future."

Yibo apologized several more times and didn't want to believe that I wasn't thinking of breaking up. He begged me to come home, but this time I stayed strong and didn't give in. I asked him to give me that time and I promised him to call him once a day to let him know that I'm okay. I also told him that I would also immediately talk to my in-laws and Hae Jin so that they would not blame him again.

Broken and with his head lowered, Yibo left my apartment. It was hard for me to look at him like that and it hurt me, but I cannot give in so easily. Even if I am sorry, even if it cost me all the strength I had to let him go. It has to be done!