Chapter 39

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I dedicate this chapter to yagappar and his book 'What makes me a man?'

Unedited

Archi's p.o.v.

I stretched my arms wider to woke up and it hit my still sleeping husband, who was sleeping peacefully with his mouth slightly open.

I tried closing them by pushing his chin up but it went in as he again opened them, I tried doing it few more times but finally gave in and walked away to take showers.

I came out of the showers, by then he was wide awake sitting in the bed. These two days after we sailed back to Mumbai I have been trying to ask him something but didn't had the courage to do so. But I can't stay quite for so long I have to ask him about this.

"Arjun", I called his name and he hummed in response without looking at me. Without thinking much I blurted out what came across my mind.

"Will you take to me Pune?", his head snapped at my direction and his eyes met mine. " Why ?", he asked me with a confused face.

"I have some unfinished work there", " Is everything okay?", "Yes, everything is fine Arjun, please take me there".

" Okay, I will arrange for that by tomorrow ", " Why tomorrow, why not today, may be now".

"But why are you so desperate to go there all of a sudden", he yelled irritation lacing in his voice. " You will know that by yourself, till then don't ask me anything about that".

He shrugged off his shoulders and walked away without a word. I know this will irritate him, but I have to do this. I'm sorry Arjun but I'm doing all this for your own good, please forgive me. I want you to be happy.

He arranged for our departure to Pune. He decided to go by road driving his SUV,we started our journey by 5 in the evening. The drive throughout out was quite than expected. He kept his eyes still on the road and never once glanced at me not even through his peripheral vision. The air inside the car felt thick to breath. I clasped his hand which was placed on the car gear, but he yanked his hand from my hold and denied to face me.

My eyes were filled with fresh tears I blinked them several times to stop the tears from falling. I shifted my gaze from him to the window, I looked everywhere but him.

This distance maintained by him hurts me a lot. I understand his state but I can't tell the truth to him, I don't have the courage to face his wrath. He may hate me after knowing the, truth as I too kept it away from him.

I was fidgeting with my fingers nervously thinking, how he will react after knowing the truth. Will I'll be able to manage him. What if he is broken again?, What if he hates me for this?. I have tons of questions revolving in my brain, though in front of him I portray myself as strong and hid my emotions within me.

It was a three hour drive and finally we reached Pune, where the biggest secret of our lives exists, to be honest he will be shattered after knowing this.

We stopped in front of the huge iron gate, I was not ready to get down of the SUV neither he did. His grip was tight in the steering as if he trying to control his anger. "I guess we are at the right place, if yes then get down and go as you wished to", finally those words slipped out of his mouth after those morning conversation.

"No, not until you come with me",I managed to say holding back my tears. He turned to face me and presumably he noticed my tear filled eyes, so he scooted himself out of the SUV without saying a word.

I too followed and fidgeted foot to foot before opening the gate and nervously opened the gate before me. We now stood in front of the door, my instinct yells at me run away from here you still have time but shook off all that thoughts gaining courage and knocked the door.

After knocking for three times which feels like a century to me the door opens. There stood the person whom I was expecting for, the woman in front of me stood stunned looking at me. She studied me from top to bottom and a smile crept over her lips.

Arjun was standing behind me which made him not much visible, so I shifted myself aside making him to view. He was busy looking down in his phone. I called his name which was more like a whisper and immediately he shoot up to look at my direction and met my eyes.

I averted my gaze from him and glanced the woman in front of me, he followed my gaze and met her. The colours from his face drained out looking his mother, he was outraged seeing her, his breath were uneven and he clenched his fist to control his anger.

Without a word he turned back to leave the place . That was when I heard his mother call his name which made him stop on his tracks. He turned back and a lone tear escaped from his eyes, I gasped looking at him and tears rolled down from my eyes. He left the place without throwing a backward glance, I tried to stop him but it all went in vain.

His mother broke down and I tried to console her. "I deserve this,..... this is all because of me,..... I have made my innocent child into a vulnerable man,.... I deserve even worse than this", she said in between her sobs. "He will understand you, please don't worry",I tried to comfort her. This is what I can manage to say.

I mentally spank myself for this but he deserves to know the truth about his mother. Even though he hates her he should know about her, after all it's his own mother, whom he one's loved more than anyone else in the world.

In all this I forgot about him, he would be devastated after this, I have to look out for him. I went out in the streets searching for him, he left his SUV at home so he would be somewhere in the walking distance.

I called Rehaan and asked him to trace his location. After about ten minutes Rehaan gave his whereabouts and I reached the place. Arjun was in a bar, this place was too crowded. I couldn't find him for few minutes but finally I spot him at one corner. He looked shattered, no words can describe my husband's condition, seeing him this vulnerable fresh tears rushed through my eyes.

I went near him and placed my hand on his shoulder he yanked my hand without throwing a glance at me. I tried stroking his hair and he continued to do the same. I didn't give up and pulled him in a hug but he pulled himself away from my embrace.

"Go away ", he yelled facing me and I shook my head hugging him. "Just leave me alone, go away", he yelled once again and I responded saying,"I won't ".

"Please Archi, go from here", he whispered."I don't want to go, please let me stay with you", I whispered back. I made my grip tighter around his neck and finally he gave up and hugged me back with all his strength.

He smelt of alcohol which was suffocating me. I noticed his eyes it was bloodshot due to the alcohol he consumed, I don't want him to drink more. I can't see him this vulnerable he doesn't deserve this, he had much from his life he deserves only happiness.

We were in each other's embrace for few minutes and he released from the hug and planted a kiss on my forehead."This place is suffocating, can we walk back home?",I asked him. He cupped my face for few seconds and stood glancing my face without answering. What is he thinking?

"Arjun, please can we go back to home", and he finally gave a nod. We came out of the bar, he was wobbling and couldn't stand still, looking at his drunken state I understood he can't drive. So I decided to drive and sat in the passenger seat, as soon as I geared up the engine he knocked out.

I managed to bring him in the room, he was not in his consciousness but I heard him blabbering, "Why... you left me ...why always people... leave me".

These words tears in my eyes though he tries hard to portray himself as strong but deep down somewhere he is weak, afraid. I can't let him like these I have to talk to him, he deserves happiness.

He has to forgive his mother and I know he loves his mother, so he will definitely understand. I slightly stroked his hair and he fell back to sleep and even I closed my eyes surrendering to the darkness.

Hiiii everyone...
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