SOUL TIES ✅

📚 ~ 1️⃣5️⃣

Sakiya ' Meeka' Washington
  19 | Chicago Illinois | same day

" started off poor with plans to earn more"

" now we own stores and fuck the baddest whores" kani humps the air.

" I was on tour with niggas that's so raw"
" what that nigga say dooda?" Savvy bobbing his head.

" STARTED SELLING WHITE, WE WONT SELL IT NO MORE" dooda sreams throwing up his set.

" IM LIKE TRUMP AINT FEEING US COPS STILL KILLINNG US NIGGAS TAKING SHOTS, CANT STOP ME THEY AINT REAL ENOUGH" we all rap at the top of our lungs

Cut her off, act like she's dead and it's killing her. New dawn Hermès seats I left the ceiling up just to get kill em softly

I was cooking and the boys were 'trying' to help me. I just had them doing small stuff. Like chopping the vestagles .

I was grilling the chicken on the patio, with leftover spaghetti and corn , I had savvy and Ty'ke cut up the chicken, steak and vegetables for shish kebabs. Dooda said he wanted sum fish so I was also waiting for the fryer to heat up.

We departed for an hour an everyone got in the shower at home before coming back to me and niya condo. It isn't late only around five.

They basically forced me to cook since dooda burned or undercooked the food. Whatever he did with that shit.
I had fun today though. It was all laughs , good vibes. We all had little arguments and by 'we' I mean dooda and niya.

" buhbuh"
" what poota?" He ask running his hand down his face.

" kani say I fat so I say I no care so he say shut the fuck up so I say shut da fucckk up he say he tell on me" she pouts crossing her arms.

" gi- get out my face before I really whoop yo ass"
" why you whoop me??" She holds her arms out. I chuckle watching them interact before going back inside.

" tana" I kiss his cheek sitting next to him.
" wassup"

" nun" he wraps his arm around my shoulder kissing my forehead before turning his attention back to the t.v. I lean against him closing my eyes.

Today felt good. It was very relaxing I had fun being playful with everyone. Maybe am over working myself? Nah I know my limits and I haven't pushed it yet. I'm just making money.

Nah I'm over working. I'm not gonna take as many shifts at the fox trap. The hospital shirts I don't mind they just get tiring cause I'm on my feet but it makes me happy knowing I'm helping other people. It makes me feel so thing instead of this numb feeling I have most of the time.

Even though I smile and laugh a lot , it's just how I cope. If you let light In you won't feel darkness. My G-Ma told me that. I miss G-ma I need to go see her. I miss my old self. The happy me that didn't cry herself to sleep three times a night. The old me that would smile and it be genuine, that wouldn't have random thoughts that she was alone or how everything would be better without her.

I miss my daddy. I miss my mommy. I miss my sister. I miss not having to make myself busy to distract myself from the numbness.
I just gotta work with what I got and have and stop reminiscing. Cause reminiscing can only cause me pain.

The only time I really feel content is when I'm not alone and that's sad. That I'm scared of myself, my thoughts , my demons. In fact I run from them.

* sometime  later
" FINNALY.. the light green"
I open my eyes sitting up from the couch.

" ugh ok.. can you just drop the fry- matter fact I'll do it" I stop myself when I notice dooda frowns.