Poetic Justice

Soul Ties

'You got my body shit you got my mind
My mama said that shit like this is just gone take some time'

○

1 Month Later
Manhattan, New York
Onika Maraj

It probably looked liked I was glaring at her by how intense my stare was trained on her.

I wasn't.

I was just deep in thought, deeper than I should've been.

These past two months had been, interesting, to say the least.

The first 30 days I was stable, content with the decision I made.

The problem was that I couldn't escape her if I wanted to, my daughter was attached to her so she would always be around.

How was I supposed to get over somebody if I was always around them?

The first 30 days my decision seemed realistic but these past 30 days reality really set in, I couldn't get over somebody I wanted to live out the rest of my days with.

I wish somebody would've told me that one night could have our souls intertwined.

I had too much self respect to allow her to keep breaking my heart, and disappointing me.

I was tired, but I still cared.

I could never figure her out, I was constantly wondering what she was thinking, how she felt, or what was going through her mind when she made certain decisions.

Why was it so hard for her to treat me the way I deserved to be treated?

I thought in depth about what she had said that night, we were in a really good place before the incident and I was mature enough to admit that I did mess that up.

She also needed to accept that a big reason everything even came down to that was because she hurt me so many times in the past with infidelity, lies, and being manipulative.

She had so many inner issues but recently I had noticed a difference to her, she was calmer, more collected than usual.

Whatever she was doing I prayed it was a healthy outlet for her issues and not the usual drugs.

Softly sighing I shake out of my thoughts looking away from her, these soul ties had me stuck again.

"Yo, you good?" My head snaps in the direction of her voice and our eyes connect.

"I'll be back in an hour or so"

I had my semi yearly check up to go to, just to make sure my health was in good standing.

She had came over to spend time with nari until I got back from my appointment.

I would've let her take her but it was a weekday and we had a routine that was already set in stone on weekdays.

"Take ya time"

Without another word I walk out the kitchen, heading upstairs to go get ready for my appointment.

Manhattan, New York
Onika Maraj

"Alright, you haven't gotten pregnant since the last time I seen you have you?" Nurse ann jokes, I give a half smile briefly thinking on the life that should've been blooming in my stomach right now.

It was probably for the best though because me and cardi's relationship
was too dysfunctional for us to be trying to bring a child into this world.

"No ma'am" I softly smile taking the urinary cup out her hand.

"Alright, you know the procedure" She says and I softly smile walking over to the bathroom that was in the room.

I fill the cup up halfway and put the top on before walking out handing it back to her.

"Alright, I'll go get this tested and another nurse will be in shortly to draw some fluids" She smiles before swiftly turning around walking out the room.

I sat on the bed patiently waiting on the second nurse.

After a minute or two she finally walks in with a butterfly needle and a wide blue rubber band.

"Alright I'm going to draw your blood, this should only take 2 to 3 minutes" She sits the packaged kit down before going over to the sink tossing the gloves she had on before washing her hands.

Putting on a fresh new set of gloves she opens a drawer grabbing a alcohol wipe.

"Alright, let's get started" She ties the rubberband around my arm with just enough pressure that my veins will pop out.

Once she found a vein she liked she opens the alcohol wipe sanitizing the area.

Opening the butterfly needle package she carefully takes it's out making sure everything was right before slowly inserting the needle in my arm.

Pulling the syringe she stopped once she got the appropriate amount she needed.

Aftercare was just her putting a cotton ball and a band aid over the small puncture.

"Alright we'll have the results in a few days" She smiles before walking out the room.

A few seconds after she left nurse ann walks back in with her chart in her hand.

"Alright I have the results of your pregnancy test and-"

The sound of my heartbeat racing fills my ears before everything goes dark.

Fuck my life.