Poetic Justice

Grieving

'Askin for space, I'd give my leg for it
I've reached a point, it's like I beg for it
I give my sweat and tears, damn, I bled for it'

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The Next Day
Fourth of July
Washington Heights, Manhattan
Belcalis Almanzar

"Nic chill, I'm holding it with her" I softly laugh carefully waving the sparkler with nari.

It was one of my favorite holidays, who didn't love barbecue, alcohol, and fireworks mixed with possible gun shots?

"Pretty" Nari smiles staring at the colorful spark in fascination.

"Just like you princess" I kiss her cheek as the sparkler slowly dies out.

"Go tell mommy to feed you something" I tell her as my phone starts vibrating in my pocket.

She happily runs over to nic and I stand up pulling my phone out my pocket already knowing who it was.

I distance myself away from my family before answering.

"Not today, you gotta stop this shit" I harshly speak in a low voice.

"I'm trying, I need to see you" She sniffles and I deeply sigh running a hand down my face.

"No, I wasn't even supposed to see you that night. I'm grieving you, so I can move on with my life but you making it real fucking hard for me to do that"

"I know and I'm so sorr-" She chokes on her tears pausing her sentence.

"Calm down" I sigh attempting to defuse the situation.

After a few seconds she sniffles calming down.

"I'm sorry, I just can't get over you, but I am trying. I'm trying so fucking hard because I know I have to let you go, just like your grieving me I'm grieving you too cardi. Why can't you ever take other people's feeling into consideration? All you care about is yourself!" Her voice cracks as it slightly rises.

"What the fuck do you want from me? I got a whole family and you know this, I'm begging you to let me go, I'm letting you go so the least you could do is return the favor. Give me back my space and let me heal" I practically beg.

"Tell me you don't care about me, tell me you don't love anymore, and I'll let you go" Her voice desperately weakens.

"Why are you doing this? And you know exactly where I'm at and who I'm with right now. Stop this manipulative shit, y-"

"You would know, everything about manipulation. I'm asking you to really set me free, so tell me"

"We could never be together and you know this, I set you free the last time I laid down with you. Stop fucking calling me and give me some time and then I'll be able to tell you exactly what the fuck you want to hear" I spit.

"But for now, you still love me. Does she know that you rushed to see me that night? Does she know how you held me in your arms up until the sunrise? Does she know that you still love me? Does she know anything when it comes to me and you?"

"You tried to fucking overdose while on the phone with me, would you rather me had let you kill yourself than come and save you? If I would've sent the cops over there they would've locked you up in a fucking  mental hospital, instead of using that against me you need to be thanking me. As far as the other shit, fuck you. I know you hurting but my love for you is fading, and everytime you call my fucking phone I care for you a little less"