'Never will I ever not wish you well
Though we're not together, God bless you still
It's gonna get better, I know it will
Just hope you know, I still, I'll pray for you'
○
1 Week Later
Manhattan, New York
Belcalis Almanzar
"The dark circles under your eyes tell me that you've recently relapsed and your fresh detox is giving you hell, you've missed two sessions now so give me a quick run down of what happened two weeks ago up until now" She softly speaks reading me for filth in her calming tone.
"Two weeks ago I slept with karin for the last time, I completely cut ties with her which ended with a mini sextape getting leaked and a sti scare. A few days after that nic told me that the insemination worked and I now have a baby on the way, then days after that I completed a long term goal of mines and I was full of drugs for the last time that night, I've been detoxing for a week now" I sigh finishing the summary of these wild last two weeks.
She nods absorbing everything I said.
"First congratulations on the baby and accomplishing that long term goal of yours" She smiles.
"Thank you" I return the smile.
"Alright, let's dissect the karin sector first, why did you decide to finally cut ties?"
"I was exhausted, this fast life that I had lived for so long isn't exciting anymore, it's just draining. She wasn't the only person by far that would be hearing from me for the last time that day but she was the only one I cared about enough to let her know, everybody else will eventually figure it out and just stop calling my phone"
"Are you worried that you might've continued that cycle of hurt with karin?"
"No, I'm not that person for her. Karin loves hard, she's sweet, carefree, and caring. I didn't hurt her, I let her go and that hurt her. Eventually she'll be okay and she'll meet somebody else and love harder, I'm not that person for her"
"Do you see some of the younger you in karin?"
"Yes, she actually reminds me a lot of myself at 23. I think that's part of what attracted me to her, she was nostalgic for me" I sadly smile.
"Do you love karin?"
"......yea I do, love but never in love and I never told her because I knew eventually I would get out that bed and never come back to lay again"
"And what about her, did you feel like she loved or was in love with you?"
"I feel like it was kind of the same for her, she loves me and I left just before she could fall in love with me and vice versa"
"Was that day actually the last time you communicated with karin?
"Of course, she's been blowing my phone up but I give it another week before the calls completely stop"
"So onika's decision to finally let you go had no influence on your decision to let karin go?"
"A little bit I guess, it was more like a realization if anything. I lost her because of my selfishness, I had a choice and I didn't choose her when I needed to put her before that the most and I took the consequence for that. I always knew that my selfishness was never worth losing her but I was just too deep in what I was doing" I sigh sinking back in the couch.
"Why where you selfish with your love?"
"Because I had already gave it all to her before and all that got me was prison and a hospital bed, I felt like she didn't deserve to have my all this time honestly"
